


To The Bone

by WarriorOfWrite



Category: Final Fantasy XIV
Genre: Au Ra Warrior of Light (Final Fantasy XIV), Canon Compliant, F/M, Final Fantasy XIV: A Realm Reborn, Final Fantasy XIV: Heavensward Spoilers, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Patch 2.4: Dreams Of Ice, Pre-Relationship, Slow Burn, Strangers to Lovers, Warrior of Light (Final Fantasy XIV) Needs a Hug, WoL is a little angsty but honestly who can blame her
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-09-01
Updated: 2019-11-05
Packaged: 2020-10-04 16:50:05
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 25,525
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20474348
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WarriorOfWrite/pseuds/WarriorOfWrite
Summary: “I am not too proud to admit that I have followed your activities with an interest bordering on fascination."The words left a sour taste in her mouth the moment they left his.____A slow burn story following the WoL and Aymeric from their first meeting to Shadowbringers, starting pre-heavensward and pre-relationship.----Chapter 10:“I was so focused on you that I forgot about everyone else.” She blurted, feeling tears spring to her eyes. “If it hadn’t been for Lucia and Alphinaud I might have gotten us all killed.”His expression was so soft, encouraging her tears as she took in the sight of someone that she clearly didn’t deserve. Someone still concerned for her, despite what she had done and despite what he had been through and someone that miraculously didn’t seem to blame her for any of it.





	1. Defences

“Are you sure?” Asked the Warrior of Light, pulling on the fingers of her gloves nervously as she stared out over the white of Coerthas. Although she appreciated the peace of Camp Dragonhead, it didn’t make it any warmer, nor did it make the white of the sun reflected off of snow any less blinding.

Stood on top of the camps defences, the Coerthan fields seemed to stretch endlessly and the more Thalia gazed out to them the more she wanted to call her chocobo and ride through them without direction. She wanted to ride through the caverns, perhaps go south and visit the Observatorium or simply ride in any one direction until she reached the ends of the snow. Her yearning for an adventure without cause had grown throughout the never-ending tasks she found herself being thrown into – to just do something for herself, to explore without looking for something, to speak without agenda for once.

She drew her eyes away from the horizon and back to her friend.

“Quite.” Haurchefant replied cooly. “He’s different to what you no doubt expect.”

She snorted at that, watching the small puff of air appear and vanish in the biting cold.

“If Ishgardian history is to be believed, what I expect is a frosty reception at best.” Despite everything she had been told to speak of this man’s individual character, the stories of Ishgard’s history and her people did not bode well if looking to strike up a friendship, or even an alliance. Haurchefant could say anything, it would not serve to erase her knowledge or expectations.

“He’s a great deal more diplomatic than the rest.”

“Diplomacy does not count as warmth.” She replied quickly. Diplomacy was not what she wanted besides. With the amount of meetings she was already expected to attend to strategize about the empire, a diplomatic meeting was far from what she wanted. For once, it would be nice to be greeted as a friendly stranger, as Thalia Draveryn, rather than the Warrior of Light.

“Allow me to rephrase. He is more open than the rest.” Haurchefant supplied, looking over to her with a smirk “And if history is to be believed, you and I should never have ventured past polite greetings either.”

“But you _are_ different.” Thalia sighed, turning to face him, exasperated. He looked amused by her protests, quirking an eyebrow up in question. “You are not a Ser of House Fortemps to me, you are simply my friend. Ser Aymeric, Lord Commander of the Temple Knights does not appeal to me.”

“Be that as it may, he is your best chance of Ishgardian support and he has specifically requested your presence.”

“My presence, or the Warrior of Light’s?”

“One and the same to those who do not know you. Alphinaud will not to be quick to forgive your absence either.”

Thalia huffed in frustration and turned herself back to the fields. In the back of her mind, she knew she was being unreasonable. The Lord Commander had done nothing to invite her ire, quite the opposite in fact, all he had done was to request her presence at a meeting which she would most likely have been present at anyway. She was also aware that the positive endorsement Haurchefant had given him spoke well of his character and that he was likely to be every bit as pleasant as he said.

And yet.

The last thing in the world she needed was another meeting with another head of state. She knew how they all went. Guarded words cleverly employed to gain the best chance of getting what they wanted from her. Go and kill this. Deliver that. Talk to them. She was sick of it.

Alphinaud had to all but beg her to agree to the meeting, and now Haruchefant was having to argue to make her keep it. What her friends expected out of it was beyond her.

“May I be frank?” Thalia spoke into the open, peering over the castle wall to the floor below her.

“As ever.” Haurchefant replied.

“I am uninterested in meeting the Lord Commander and I am too tired to form any more alliances.” She said bluntly. “I find it highly unlikely Ishgard has decided to return to the Eorzean alliance, and I have not the patience to convince them otherwise.”

“Then attend simply to support your friend.” Haurchefant reasoned. Thalia pushed herself away from the castle’s wall with a huff.

“Twelve give me strength.” She muttered under her breath as she walked away. Though not looking, she could sense Haurchefant’s smile over her shoulder and took a moment to give thanks that he could not see the small smile she gave in response, one day she was going to force him into a meeting and see how he liked it.

A brief walk took her to the intercessory, where Alphinaud was already pacing.

“Where exactly have you been?” He asked the second she placed a foot through the door. “The Lord Commander is already here.”

“I don’t see him.” Thalia said. Alphinaud simply rolled his eyes and went back to pacing, muttering something about him needing to save Eorzea single-handedly. Thalia gave him a similar look of exasperation in response and gave a silent prayer that he would relax even slightly when the meeting began. She was rather hoping that he would do all of the negotiating for the both of them, for which he needed a level head.

Not a moment later, Haurchefant strode in.

“Have faith, my friend. You need only state your case with confidence and clarity.” He looked straight to Thalia as he said it, acting as though they hadn’t been speaking mere minutes ago to save himself Alphinaud’s frustration at making the Warrior of Light late. She smiled at him softly as he lifted a finger to his lips in a silent “sh”.

Before either had the chance to respond however, the door swung open and in walked two highly armoured knights. Highly armoured, and unreasonably tall, Thalia considered, noticing the way that they both towered over her and Alphinaud despite only one being obviously Elezen.

She cast a glace over them both, unsure whether she was more surprised that the Lord Commander had deemed it necessary to bring what looked to be a bodyguard or that he was in a full suit of armour himself. Whilst understandable that he would need to wear armour in his everyday duties, she was surprised he had thought to wear it to what was supposedly a friendly act of diplomacy. But then, she realised looking down to her own battle gear, that may have been a hypocritical observation.

“Commander Leveilleur. It is both an honour and a pleasure to meet you.” He said. Thalia barely had time to process the depth of his voice before he turned to her and spoke again. “I am Aymeric, Lord Commander of the Temple Knights.”

Alphinaud gave a polite greeting in return but Thalia was deaf to it. She had expected someone old. Or at least older. And certainly not someone with a voice like silk, so deep and pleasing that she could almost feel it in her chest. If she were completely honest, she had certainly not expected someone quite so handsome.

She was a professional, a warrior, but certainly not a blind one and she reasoned with herself that it would be a lie to try to deny that she was momentarily speechless. Not just by his looks, but his immediate presence. To think she had worried about a cold reception, Ser Aymeric radiated warmth, with a soft smile matched perfectly with the candlelight. Striking black hair and blue eyes in contrast with the rest.

And despite her presence being specifically requested by the Lord Commander, Thalia found it infinitely reassuring that he chose to speak to Alphinaud before her, clearly genuinely interested in his ideas and standing rather than just using him as a farce to see the Warrior of Light up close. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Haurchefant stifle a smile and belatedly realised that her mouth had been slightly agape from the moment he walked in, and promptly closed it.

“Speaking of reputations, yours towers over us all. Does it not?” Aymeric asked, turning to his fellow knight as she agreed politely. Haurchefant nodded and Thalia expected to see a smirk on his face as she looked over but instead saw nothing other than what might be considered pride. She made a mental note to ask him what stories he had spun about her in Ishgard once the meeting was over, thinking it likely that he had overstated her deeds, again.

“I am not too proud to admit that I have followed your activities with an interest bordering on fascination. Full glad was I to learn that you would be joining us.”

She realised that this was intended as a compliment and fully understood that his words should come with flattery or at the very least a level of pride that someone so influential should freely admit to being so interested in her, yet his words left a sour taste in her mouth as soon as they left his. He had interest in her activities, in her duties, in her use. Of course.

That sour taste did not improve as the meeting progressed. Whilst she could appreciate the kindness of Ser Aymeric’s offer to them, she could not shake the disappointment that fell over her as he asked them to check on Midgardsormr. All positive observations that she had noted about the Lord Commander were cast aside in that moment. How foolish, to think that he may be more interested in Alphinauds intelligence and cause than her ability to fight monsters. How foolish to think he saw either of them as more than a means to an end at all.

Once again, the Warrior of Light sent on another life-risking mission on the word of a city state.

Clearly, whilst pleased with the end result, Alphinaud also felt some measure of disappointment at the Lord Commanders true intentions. Thalia could see it written all over his face; the slight furrow of his brow and the tight line of his lips, even as he nodded his agreement and thanked Ser Aymeric for his input, ever the perfect diplomat.

As she watched Alphinaud’s clear disappointment, her own turned into something more like anger, that a representative from a famously uncooperative city state would request her at a meeting purely to ask something of her within mere minutes of introduction. That she should be expected to do something for a city in which she would certainly not be welcome. As if being an outsider wasn’t enough, the dark scales adorning her skin in addition to a surname as closely tied to Dravania as hers meant that she was unlikely to ever be trusted let alone liked in Ishgard, despite Haurchefant’s protests.

She had caught Ser Aymeric’s well disguised glances to her horns and tail, attempting to gauge whether what she saw in his eyes was disgust or mere interest at what was likely his first sight of an Au Ra, let alone one with such clear links to the very dragons they waged war with. She also caught the very considered way with which he pronounced her name, slowing her surname when he spoke it, “Draveryn”, as though he was battling with whether to inquire about it further. Thankfully, propriety seemed to get the better of him and if he struggled with her draconian resemblance he kept it to himself.

Before she had the time to dutifully nod and carry out her task despite her internal protests however, a flustered knight burst in with reports of Lady Iceheart. Haurchefant reacted quickly, calling Alphinaud to his side to investigate the conflict, both voiced their thanks to Ser Aymeric before exiting and promptly left. Thalia pushed herself to her feet quickly, eager to follow their lead, however in a bid to be polite she turned towards Ser Aymeric and gave him a curt nod.

“Lord Commander.” She said plainly.

“Warrior of Light.” He replied.

As she left she tried to bury her disappointment whilst she threw herself into the next problem that required her attention. One day, she was going to have to get used to simply being referred to as the Warrior of Light by those who did not know her well rather than her name, it was something she had been adjusting to for years already. However, for some reason, this time it felt worse than usual.

Perhaps she’d believed Haurchefant when he told her that Ser Aymeric was different, and she kicked herself for believing that may be true.


	2. Offences

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I was just judging your character.” She smiled,
> 
> “Curious.” He mused. “I’m not sure I’ve ever been judged before.” A moment of silence before he spoke again. “What was the verdict?” He asked, meeting her eyes as he did.
> 
> She considered her answer, not wanting to appear too cold but unwilling to extend her friendship quite yet.
> 
> “Inconclusive.” She smirked.
> 
> \----
> 
> A slow burn story following the WoL and Aymeric from their first meeting to Shadowbringers, this chapter takes us to their second meeting in which the WoL may reconsider her first impressions

Thalia found that trudging through the snow in sodden, freezing clothing for hours before her next meeting with Ser Aymeric made it difficult for her to look forward to it. After the first, Haurchefant had insisted that she had the wrong idea of him entirely and even Alphinaud had argued his case, claiming that what he had offered to do for them outweighed what he asked for in return. It was easy to listen to them before she’d had to drag herself from the Gates of Judgement to Camp Dragonhead in the middle of a blizzard just to meet with him again.

How Alphinaud was still in such seemingly high spirits was beyond her, honestly it annoyed her a little too. Perhaps he knew something that she didn’t, but either way as they shuffled their way through the snow, he had a skip in his step that she just couldn’t muster.

She lifted her head up for a moment to attempt to look into the distance, bringing an arm in front of her face to at least try to shield her eyes from the constant influx of snow and could just about make out the walls of Camp Dragonhead, gloomy on the horizon. She sighed as she dropped her head once more and pulled her arms around her torso, if she could see it that meant it was close at least. It would take barely a few moments on the back of a chocobo, however it was too dangerous to attempt to ride given the current weather, so she was stuck on foot, pushing herself through one painful footstep at a time.

“We’re close!” Alphinaud shouted to her so that he could be heard over the wind. He must have noticed her looking – she glanced over to him briefly before the wind whipped across her face harshly and she looked straight back to the ground.

“I know!” She yelled back, pushing herself forward a little faster, desperate to reach the protection of a camp and the warmth of a fire. Alphinaud trailed behind her, steps becoming laborious and sluggish as his pace dropped ever more the longer they walked for. She was convinced that she could be there by now if she didn’t have to make sure he didn’t get lost or attacked in the snow and instead soldiered on at her own pace. Behind her, she heard Alphinaud say something else but couldn’t make out the words as the wind picked up, and so she shuffled a little closer to him, smirking as an idea formed.

“Last one there makes food for the both of us!” She called to him and summoned all of her strength into running for the gates she could now see more clearly. Faintly, she heard Alphinaud shout a curse at her before she caught him pick up his pace in the corner of her eye. Obviously, it was a pointless exercise and she would end up cooking unless she wanted another one of his flavourless stews, but it didn’t hurt to motivate him into getting to camp as quickly as possible.

Her whole body screamed at her as she ran. Lungs burning as they took in more and more cold, most of her extremities already numb but those that weren’t ached and shook as she forced them to carry her. She could barely see where she was going as she kept her head down to prevent frostbite forming across her face, and just as she thought her only options were to stop a moment or collapse, she realised that she was almost face to face with a guard.

“Mistress Draveryn?” The guard called as he caught sight of her. “What in the hells are you doing outside the walls in a blizzard?”

The guard rushed to her side, throwing her arm around his shoulder to support her as he dragged her into camp, his companion running to Alphinaud to help similarly. She smiled to him as he helped her struggle through and let her go against the wall on the inside of camp. Whilst still freezing, the lack of uninterrupted wind and snow on her gave immediate relief and she allowed herself to slump to the floor gently, breathing heavily.

Alphinaud came through the gates a moment later and laughed as he saw her.

“You may have beaten me here, but at least I can still stand. I believe the victory should be mine.” He said, holding a hand out for her. She took it gratefully and stood up once again, pushing his shoulder as she gave him a tired grin.

“Perhaps you’re right.” She said, beginning to walk again towards the Intercessory, thinking that they may as well get the formal part of this trip over with and that it might at least be warm in there. “Meeting first, food later.” She called over her shoulder, Alphinaud stumbled forwards to follow her, jogging slightly to catch up.

“I’m surprised at your enthusiasm.” He noted as they walked, slowing the pace as he caught up to her.

“And why ever so? If I ever fail to show enthusiasm for a chair and a fire whilst we’re in Coerthas then you should worry.”

Alphinaud sighed as he looked over to her. “That’s all you have enthusiasm for?” He asked impatiently, as though he were asking a child why they were misbehaving, a tone he had perfected over the past year.

“At present.” Thalia said coyly. “Though should the Lord Commander bother to remember my name, my mind could be swayed.”

“_Thalia_.” Alphinaud whined as he grabbed her arm and pulled her to face him, stopping them both.

“That’s the one.” She quipped, smiling falling from her face as she saw the look on his. She had expected him to sigh and roll his eyes, to tell her to be open minded or pleasant at the least, she had not expected him to look quite so exhausted, or quite so upset.

“I’m meeting with enough criticism from the other city states for meeting with Ser Aymeric already, please do not make me have to take it from you as well.”

“I’m not critic-“

“I need your support.”

Her eyes softened as she looked at him. Often it was easy to forget how young Alphinaud really was, but when his mask of confidence occasionally slipped he could look so vulnerable, it would take more than Eorzea’s greatest defender to deny him.

“Then you have it. I swear.”

Alphinaud nodded and composed himself once again, shoulders square and back straight, he pushed open the door to the Intercessory.

A flood of warmth washed over her as soon as she stepped into the room, and although she tried to keep her expression neutral, she couldn’t quite disguise the smile she gave at the feeling.

“I thank you for coming with such haste… and apologise for my absence. Suffice it to say, Lady Iceheart and her heretics have much to answer for.” Ser Aymeric wasted no time with pleasantries and for that she was grateful, the sooner this finished the sooner she could change out of her battle gear and eat something.

“Yes… We are but recently returned from the Gates of Judgement ourselves.” Alphinaud said and she shook her head gently, recently returned was rather an understatement, but she supposed he was trying to spare Ser Aymeric any guilt he may have felt for summoning them. He continued speaking but she tuned it out, trusting him to carry out their negotiations as she continued to bask in the warmth of the room.

As Ser Aymeric and Alphinaud conversed, Thalia did her best to pay attention to the Lord Commander, really _look _at him as though they hadn’t already met. With her promise to Alphinaud in mind, she tried to forget anything that she had held against him at their last meeting and take him in once again.

First, eyes. Somewhat pointed and sharply blue, piercing, even in the soft light granted by the fireplace with long and dark eyelashes, casting a shadow across the tops of his cheeks when he flicked his eyes down. His cheeks themselves were a contrast to the rest of his features, high and slim, tapering to a jawline that looked as though it could cut her, had she the inclination to run her fingers along it. Which, of course, she didn’t. Save for perhaps in vague curiosity.

Beyond his face, her gaze trailed down to his shoulders. Unbelievably broad, even if made more impressive by the armour he donned, and if she had to guess she would wager that they would be toned due to the strength needed for the battles he participated in, something mirrored in herself. On appreciating the craftmanship of his armour, she truly noticed the deep blue laced within it and although she knew it was Ishgardian blue, it seemed it was intentionally matched to his eye colour, drawing them out even further.

On their first meeting, she had admitted he was handsome. On a second and more objective look, she didn’t think the word quite fit. He wasn’t the kind of rugged she associated with handsome, but past that she couldn’t quite find the right words to describe him. Either way, she wasn’t interested in the aesthetic element of his looks as much as she was interested in what they could tell her about his character.

Less interesting than the colour of his eyes were their absolute focus on Alphinaud, rapt with everything he had to say, responding appropriately. When she truly analysed him, she felt the sense that this was someone she may eventually trust, should he prove himself worth it. Given the effort she put into her second judgement, she considered her promise to Alphinaud fulfilled and turned her attention back to the conversation at hand, at apparently the opportune moment.

“I would introduce you to a close friend and stalwart ally. Estinien!”

In walked Haurchefant followed by the famed Azure Dragoon, in impressive armour and with a presence unmatched by anyone else in the room, quite the achievement given who she was surrounded by. As Alphinaud confessed his lack of knowledge on the order of dragoons, Ser Aymeric launched into an explanation.

This time, as he spoke, he spoke straight to her. Direct eye contact that never once faltered in a way that made her feel almost small, not quite intimidated but definitely as though he had the upper hand, a feeling quite foreign to her. He spoke with confidence and authority, and despite her attempt to hold his gaze, she eventually looked away and tried to mask it as a look to Estinien rather than an inability to hold a look so intense. Given the way the corner of his mouth quirked up when she did, she hadn’t fooled him.

He and Alphinaud continued to speak about the intricacies of Eorzean politics as he pleaded aid from the scions, something that Alphinaud eventually granted, and Estinien explained his link to Nidhogg. Before long the meeting wound to a close.

She should have been more intrigued by Estinien’s revelation, or by Alphinaud’s reasoning, but she was distracted. As Alphinaud, Estinien and Haurchefant said their polite farewells, she nodded and turned to leave in kind.

“Thalia, may I speak with you privately?”

She gave a quick smile to Alphinaud as he looked to her, and he took her reassurance as cue to leave. Turning back to Ser Aymeric, she once again stood across the table from him.

“My apologies.” He said. “I did not mean to forgo your titles, forgive me any disrespect.”

“There’s nothing to forgive, Lord Commander. You wished to speak to me?” She asked. Her chest had tightened slightly as she heard him call her name, her actual name, which she would much prefer to her titles however if he wanted to apologise, she wouldn’t make him uncomfortable.

“Aymeric, please.”

“Of course, Ser Aymeric.”

“Simply Aymeric, if you don’t mind.”

That she didn’t expect. She had been careful to use his titles in any and all conversation with or about him, not wanting to disrespect or offend him giving his standing.

As the realisation hit her, she could not believe how long it had taken her to realise he was doing the same.

“Only if you’ll simply call me Thalia in return.”

“Of course. I only wanted to ensure that I had not done anything to cause you discomfort or offence. I realise I have been somewhat forward in my petition for aid, but I assure you, were you to deny me I would not think less of you.” He said, his voice dropping a few notes now that it was quieter, he placed a hand to his heart and bowed his head slightly as he spoke.

“Offence?” Thalia questioned. She had absolutely tried her best to appear neutral at worst, surely she hadn’t been that obvious.

“I simply noticed that you have been staring at me as though you expect me to attack you.” He laughed, and despite herself she chuckled in response as she shook her head wildly.

“Gods, no!” She laughed. “I was just judging your character.”

“Curious.” He mused. “I’m not sure I’ve ever been judged before.” A moment of silence before he spoke again. “What was the verdict?” He asked, meeting her eyes as he did.

She considered her answer, not wanting to appear too cold but unwilling to extend her friendship quite yet.

“Inconclusive.” She smirked.

“Even more curious. I will endeavour to sway the ruling.” He returned her smirk with one of his own before looking to the table and then back to her, meeting her eyes once more before pushing himself up from the table.

“Until next time, Thalia.”

“Aymeric.”


	3. Retreat

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I can be sure of nothing save that there are precious few people that I can trust, and none of them stand before me.”
> 
> Silence fell over the both of them and Thalia regretted the words as soon as they left her mouth, the expression on Aymerics face was enough for her guilt to be felt for years to come.

The Warrior of Light was expected to be adaptable to change, used to her circumstances shifting drastically and at the last minute. But this was something else. To go in a few short weeks from Eorzea’s champion to fugitive was enough to make anyone’s head spin and quite how she ended up seeking refuge in Ishgard of all places was quite beyond her.

Friends, comrades, colleagues, all gone. Her fellow scions either missing or presumed dead, save Alphinaud and Tataru, and anyone who survived most likely joining in on the effort to hunt them down and imprison them. All except Haurchefant, it seemed.

He was the first to enter her mind the moment tragedy struck. Possibly the only person she could think of to not question her innocence, or not question her at all for that matter. Haurchefant remained one of the only people in the entirety of Eorzea that she could even begin to imagine trusting in this situation, so when he told her that she and her remaining friends could seek asylum in Ishgard, she did not think to argue.

However, whilst trudging through mountains of snow towards the guards awaiting them at the gate, she had begun to wonder if she may have been better off fleeing further. Anyone could track them to the boundaries of Coerthas, and even if they remained safe from outside threats, the city proper itself was threatening enough. Despite Haurchefant’s unrelenting optimism, she would have to be a fool to show no concern for her standing as a combination of an accused murderer, an outsider, and an Au Ra. In the midst of the Dravanian conflict, she thought it unlikely that any Ishgardian would take well the sight of her scales or her horns, if they even bothered to notice her appearance at all once they realised who she was.

“Rough start” was perhaps the most understated way to explain her rocky beginnings to Ishgardian life. The Fortemps themselves were outstanding, Count Edmont in particular welcoming all of them as though they were his personal friends as opposed to a group of strangers that his bastard son had decided to all but smuggle into the city to hide from the rest of the realm. Every comfort afforded to them as honoured guests rather than harboured fugitives. If they could only stay within the Fortemps Manor indefinitely all may have seemed fairly nice.

However, natural curiosity got the best of all three of them and at Haurchefant’s recommendation they ventured out to explore the city. Dirty looks and side eyes followed them everywhere they went, some locals even brave enough to mutter a curse towards them as they brushed past, shoving against their shoulders a little harder than could be expected from an “accident”.

But ever putting on a brave face for those around her, the first time Thalia dared to voice any of her discomforts was hidden in a dark corner in the lower levels of The Forgotten Knight. Whispered to Haurchefant in the dark.

“I just wonder if maybe we should have fought harder rather than allowing our friends to risk their lives for us and then running to you.” She admitted, the air hanging heavy with her confession. Haurchefant simply looked at her, features softening in a sad smile as he nodded.

“I know, my friend.” He spoke after a moment. “But whatever happened then, you can at least be safe in the knowledge that you and all of your friends are welcomed here.”

Thalia snorted. “By you perhaps.”

She took a large drink as she said it, casting her eyes around the room quickly as she had taken to doing regularly, just to ensure that no one was paying her too much attention or looking towards her with any ill intent.

“Not so much by anyone else. I think the members of your house and a couple of merchants are the only people I’ve even managed to have a conversation with since I arrived. Quite the change.” She continued sadly. Her eyes dropped to the table so as not to see the upset that would surely be written across Haurchefant’s face. He’d done all he could, gone above and beyond what she could reasonably expect of any friend, but it just didn’t quite feel like enough. Try as he might, she was totally outcast, and felt as such.

“Perhaps you are not looking in the right places, did you visit the Astrologicum as I suggested? I have no doubt that they would find a place for someone with your aptitude for the wielding of magicks.”

Thalia placed a hand to the Grimoire on her lap instinctively as she listened to his suggestion again. The idea of abandoning summoning was something that she hadn’t taken to all too kindly. Firstly, her carbuncles were some of the only friendly faces that she could still rely on and secondly, she was comfortable with summoning, good at it.

“I don’t know if I’m ready for that yet.” She said, pulling her hand away from the book to place it back onto the table.

“I am simply trying to suggest places that you may yet find a little less unwelcoming.” Haurchefant smiled at her.

“Speaking of unwelcoming, I’ve yet to hear anything from Aymeric.” Thalia said, the words sounding slightly more bitter than she had intended.

“He has many duties, you know.” Haurchefant chuckled. “Duties which extend beyond throwing you a welcome party.”

“I wasn’t expecting a party. I just thought he might have taken the time to say hello given that his interest in me apparently borders fascination.” She sighed, finger tracing the rim of her cup as she did so.

Haurchefant simply smiled at her softly once again. The longer she spent brooding in this ice town the more his full and bright smiles seemed to be replaced with soft, sadder ones. She knew she was to blame, somehow, she hadn’t quite settled into Ishgard with the enthusiasm that he had clearly hoped for - she could only hope that he didn’t think himself responsible for that.

“But then, I suppose he simply said that he took an interest in my activities and even I have to admit- my activities have somewhat dwindled.” She mused.

“I didn’t think Ser Aymeric a friend of yours yet anyway, does it truly bother you to not spend more time in his company?”

“I suppose not.” Thalia lifted her cup to her lips before pausing, speaking again before she drank. “But I’m rather limited on options for company.”

“As ever, you have mine.” Haurchfant said as he pushed himself up from the table, gesturing for her to follow. Truly, she hadn’t realised how long they had been hiding in that corner, but she supposed she should at least try to rest before tomorrow's travels.

“And I am, as ever, grateful.” She followed his lead, to the upper levels and then out into the biting cold, bracing herself as it permeated every layer she wore and settled itself immediately under her skin. They began to shuffle through the snow, pacing leisurely back to Fortemps Manor where an impatient scion was undoubtedly waiting.

“If you would like to meet with him, I can request it.” Haurchefant muttered into the dark, even his hushed voice seeming far too loud given the silence of the streets.

“No I don’t think so, as you reminded me I barely know him anyway.” Thalia sighed, walking a little closer to Haurchefant so as to try to share his warmth.

They spent the rest of their journey in silence, shivering as they squinted through the snow, arriving back to find most of the house dark, save for one near extinguished fire in the main hall, with Alphinaud placed in front of it.

“Should I be insulted that I didn’t receive an invite?” He quipped as they walked in, turning round in his armchair to face them before standing.

“It’s not personal, I just don’t think you’re old enough to be spending your time in bars.” Thalia smirked, smiling wider as she saw the top of his cheeks turn pink and his face bunch up into a scowl.

“What an original joke.” He said, words dripping with sarcasm. Though try as he might to keep the frown across his face, after locking eyes with Thalia he chuckled despite himself. “If you brothers-in-arms are quite finished with your night of fun, may I remind you that you leave for Falcon’s Nest as soon as dawn breaks?”

“You may, but I won’t thank you for it.” Thalia took a few steps towards the fire in an attempt to feel some of its remaining warmth before it burnt out. Just thinking of the journey she was to make with Artoirel was enough to give her a headache - the knight would clearly rather carry out his duties alone and only entertained her at the request of his father and possibly the encouragement from Haurchefant. Without question, she knew that Haurchefant would have tried to convince him that she would provide good company on his trip but she doubted the truth of his endorsements. But then, perhaps to get back outside the walls of Ishgard would be a pleasant change, too see a new place and meet new and slightly less judgemental people. She considered bringing her own chocobo but it seemed cruel to subject Fletch to the cold, hopefully whatever she rode on instead would be just as freeing.

Ultimately, she was pleased to have a purpose again, people to help and places to go - but the thought of it somewhat tightened her chest. Alphinaud wasn’t going with her to keep her company and there would be no Minfilia to report back to. No Thancred to tease her nor Alisae to tell him off when he did so. She could reminisce over each Scion if she allowed herself, wishing that one might show up mid-adventure as they used to so that she wouldn’t have to face it alone. Artoirel was poor replacement.

Alphinaud came to stand beside her and placed a hand on her shoulder tentatively. She smiled to herself, it was so rare for him to show any sort of affection towards her that the simple gesture calmed her. At least he understood.

“Tataru and I will still be here when you return.” He said simply before he let his hand drop and turned to retire to his room. Haurchefant followed suite giving them both a simple goodnight before she was left alone in front of the fire.

\----

She tried hard to put on a calm front, though her blood boiled and she could feel the growl building at the back of her throat, the hiss between her teeth. As she walked through the doors to the Congregation of Our Knights Most Heavenly, her measured steps never faltered, even as all eyes fell on her. It was Aymeric that held the courage to speak first.

“It has been too long, Thalia.” He started, pausing to swallow with what she could only presume were nerves. She belatedly realised that her posture was that of someone poised to strike and deliberately attempted to relax it. “Would that this visit came under happier circumstances. You are come to plead for Master Alphinaud and Mistress Tataru, I take it?”

She gritted her teeth and nodded slowly, temperature still rising. They knew what was happening to her friends. _He_ knew. And here they sat, waiting for her to return before they took any action. She understood that to speak at this moment would be to explode and so stayed silent, glaring daggers into Aymeric and taking a little pride as he appeared to shift uncomfortably, well disguised as it was.

Haurchefant voiced his surprise at the situation and as he and Aymeric began to converse, all Thalia could do was focus on her breathing and attempt to listen to them. Her last friends, accused of heresy and facing a trial, it was enough for her to take up arms against the city and start a war. But for now, she did her best to stay collected. 

According to Aymeric, as Ser Grinnaux was a member of the Knights Twelve it would be hard to fight the charges, and all that could possibly be afforded to them was a trial by combat. Thalia did well to hold her tongue, until the moment Haurchefant left them to inform Alphinaud of their supposed plans.

“It’s not good enough.” She muttered lowly.

Aymeric looked up to her, his eyes widening in shock. Her façade had slipped. She was now outwardly fuming, tail raised as she placed her hands down on the table and looked to him with anger written clearly across her face. That she looked threatening, she had no doubt, making Aymeric’s next move even more surprising.

“Lucia, could you leave us a moment.” He said calmly as he held her look. As Lucia left rather reluctantly he stood, not breaking eye contact or flinching away from her once. She followed his lead and straightened up, though keeping her posture slightly defensive. “I’m not sure I follow.” He continued, keeping his voice slow in what she had no doubt was an attempt to soothe her.

“My friends, my last remaining friends, get locked away whilst under the protection of your city and you sit here doing nothing until I arrive.” Her volume slowly rose as she spoke though Aymeric refused to rise to it, keeping himself calm as he nodded.

“I assure you, they were taken mere moments before you arrived, had you been delayed I would have acted independently.”

“Like hell you would.” Thalia spat. “You’ve made no attempt to refute the claims brought against them, simply suggest that I fight to free them. Have you not considered that it paints them as guilty? Have you not considered that although I will fight for Tataru- Alphinaud may struggle against one of the Knights Twelve?”

Aymeric simply shook his head as he began to step around the table to reach her.

“Should you win, and I have every confidence that you will, they will be viewed by all as innocent.” He said, continuing to step closer to her as he rounded the corner so that they stood face to face, not separated by a table for the first time.

“And if I don’t? If Alphinaud doesn’t?” She questioned, though the bite had left her tone. “He’s skilled but he’s young and he certainly does not have the years of experience of Ser Grinnaux. And I am simply tired, what if either of us should falter?” She gulped. “You are the only one with any power in this situation and you have failed to use it.”

“You can be sure that-“

“I can be sure of nothing save that there are precious few people that I can trust, and none of them stand before me.”

Silence fell over the both of them and Thalia regretted the words as soon as they left her mouth, the expression on Aymerics face was enough for her guilt to be felt for years to come. In each of their meetings he had been calm and pleasant, no matter the topic or situation, but even he couldn’t mask the hurt that her words had inflicted. He took a step back from her and nodded sadly.

“I understand.” His tone was grave and for the first time, he refused to meet her gaze. “I see the strain this has placed on you, I can only apologise for not properly playing my part in alleviating it.”

Her anger had been almost entirely replaced by shame as she watched Aymeric bow gently towards her, sadness still painted over him as he spoke once more.

“I will not keep you from your friends, best of luck, Warrior of Light.”

As he turned to leave, she felt his name on the tip of her tongue, felt the urge to grab him and turn him back round so that she might apologise, or at least explain herself. Her own upset grew as she watched him leave, feeling the loss of what could have been. She needed Aymeric as her ally. This was going to have to be fixed in the coming days, but for now all she could do was turn to leave and focus on her friends until the trial was won.


	4. Reflection

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Warrior of Light reflects on her relationship with Aymeric and realises what he is, and what she wants

Obviously, they won.

As if there was any doubt, she and Alphinaud bested Ser Grinnaux and his partner almost without the need to even break a sweat. Neither of the knights landed a decisive attack on either of them; they were simply too nimble where the knights expected brute strength. Honestly, at one-point Thalia thought her and Alphinaud’s carbuncles may have been able to win without their input – but despite the ease of their victory, all she could feel was guilt where she expected relief. 

As her friends walked free, acquitted of all charges, she hung her head. Heart heavy as those around her cheered and celebrated. Not Tataturu’s thanks, nor Alphinaud’s relief, nor Haurchefant’s congratulations could influence her mood as her and Aymeric’s last interaction played on a loop in her mind. Hard as she tried to shake the feeling and to tell herself that what she’d said had been understandable given the situation, the weight of her guilt would not lighten.

The more she considered it, the more she realised what she stood to lose from Aymeric. They weren’t close by any means, she wouldn’t even have necessarily called him a friend, but she realised that he at least tended not to ask more from her than she would willingly offer. It was habit for most leaders was to ask her to either carry out menial tasks that they saw as beneath them or to ask her to risk her very life for almost nothing in return, because it was expected of her – it was what _they_ expected of her.

Aymeric certainly hadn’t. He hadn’t asked her to carry out any duties that were simply errands he didn’t want to carry out himself and anything he had asked of her either had a reasonable trade on his side or been asked from a place of true desperation. Ishgard, and by extension Aymeric, had not expected her support against the Dravanians – they had only asked it because it was their last resort. And despite her last words to him, she believed that he would have respected her had she refused him, which was certainly more than most could say.

She’d been distrusting because it made sense, she’d been wary of Aymeric’s friendly advances because she just had to be. Gods know, if the Warrior of Light blindly trusted anyone that showed her a smile she would likely end up dead. Caution was only natural - particularly when all she had left was Tataru and Alphinaud. Both capable in their own rights, but nowhere near the fighter she was, they both lacked either her skills or her experience in battle. She had to be careful for them. Beyond careful, she was fiercely protective of them both, something that had proved necessary when the moment she left them in Ishgard they were accused of heresy and forced into a trial by combat. What if she’d come back too late? 

Well, Alphinaud would have held his own and Haurchefant may have fought for Tataru. Her guilt swelled in her chest as she considered Aymeric’s words and realised he may have fought for her too. The truth was, there were enough friendly faces in Ishgard to look after one another, and her too, but she couldn’t let go. How could she trust anyone but herself to look after her loved ones considering her recent history? Who but her could bear that burden?

If she was honest with herself, she perhaps did still have more than just Tataru and Alphinaud. Haurchfant and his family for one. Aymeric may have become another in time had she been more careful with her words.

Her mind continued to spin through the celebratory dinner thrown for them all in Fortemps manor. She barely tasted the wine or noticed the extravagance of the feast placed in front of her as her friends made light work of it all. Her eyes scanned the guests around the table, simply the members of House Fortemps and the remaining scions and she noticed a chair unused towards the end. It was only a guess, but it felt like it would have been Aymeric’s. He had helped as much as anyone else in her present company, perhaps he would have joined them had she taken the time to think. Instead, he was likely to be sat alone at his desk, or in his manor, no doubt believing he should have done more when what he already did was more than she could reasonably ask.

Now that she was thinking straight, she saw it clearly. Aymeric, the Lord Commander, had immediately decided that Ser Grinnaux was a liar. He had needed no evidence nor argument, he had just known. Beyond that, he’d called Lucia and Haurchefant before she’d even arrived back to conspire a way to ensure that Tataru and Alphinaud were proven innocent when he had no real reason to believe that himself. Considering his standing, he had put himself at great risk for no reward. Had another knight heard their conversation he could have been tried for heresy too, and yet he had likely not even considered the consequences to himself, thinking only of the scions. And her.

And his thanks were to be harsh words and another rejection of the friendship he seemed to be attempting to offer.

She had not felt this small in a long while. It took longer than she was proud of, but she realised that Aymeric valued her, he valued them all. Not just for what they could do for him or for Ishgard, but seemingly for their mere presence. As Haurchefant said, he was different from the rest. Not just from the rest of Ishgard, but from the rest of the realm at large - at least he differed in the way that he treated them.

It reminded her of the way Haurchefant had treated her at the beginning, only she had been more open to his friendship.

But now the damage had been done, rather than reverse it all she could hope to do was repair now. She excused herself from the table and retired to her room. Sitting in front of one of the cosy fires she had come to love in her time surrounded by cold, she considered what she could do. She could perhaps offer to join Ishgard’s front line? Seek out the Dravanians? Complete all of Aymeric’s errands? All sounded like hollow gestures. She didn’t just want Aymeric to think that she was happy to help him because it was her duty, she wanted him to know that she saw him now, she understood. Finally, she saw past the title and the formality and anything else that had helped build her prejudice and she saw him for who he was.

And she wanted the friendship that she’d so carelessly thrown back at him.

She sighed to herself as she lay back in her bed, letting her eyes fall shut as they grew heavy and eventually she fell asleep, the thought of her apology to Aymeric the last thing on her mind.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for sticking with this chapter, I know it's a boring one bc it's a lil bit of filler before things pick up- more exciting chapters to come!


	5. Reconciliation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As she was escorted into the Holy Vault, she saw not His Eminence in his seat at the very end of the room, nor the members of the Knights Twelve - she saw Aymeric from the moment she walked in and struggled to focus on much else afterwards. She was aware that to address him would be inappropriate given that she was in the presence of the Archbishop and that she wasn’t there to see Aymeric in the first place.
> 
> But she so deeply wanted to.

As it happened, she saw Aymeric again much sooner than she was expecting and certainly much sooner than she was ready for. 

She’d been discussing the previous days events with Count Edmont, ready to ask him about her personal predicament, when a message had arrived from the Vault with urgency. She was to attend an audience with His Eminence Archbishop Thordan VII. Immediately. 

Although Aymeric was the Lord Commander, it didn’t occur to her that he would be there. It didn’t occur to her that the knight who had her friends accused of heresy would be there either - even though she really should have been expecting the Knights Twelve. It also didn’t occur to her that Alphinaud or Tataru wouldn’t be invited and that she would have to attend the meeting by herself, so when all three happened at once she was put slightly at a loss.

As she was escorted into the Holy Vault, she saw not His Eminence in his seat at the very end of the room, nor the members of the Knights Twelve - she saw Aymeric from the moment she walked in and struggled to focus on much else afterwards. She was aware that to address him would be inappropriate given that she was in the presence of the Archbishop and that she wasn’t there to see Aymeric in the first place.

But she so deeply wanted to.

Her apology burned hot on the tip of her tongue, practiced and ready. The want to express it grew only stronger the moment he flicked his eyes to her before turning to the Archbishop to speak.

“Your Eminence.” Came his voice, just hearing it was enough to remind her of the last thing he had said and cause her guilt to flare once again. “It is my honour to present to you, the Warrior of Light.”

The flare only rose up with his words, the way he had sounded was different from that of a generic introduction. The inflection he used on her title made him sound proud, almost grateful that he was the one introducing her. She shouldn’t be surprised, it hadn’t been that long ago that he’d confessed how keenly he was interested in her - she kicked herself for being so slow on the uptake. _ Again _. He admired her, it was clear. As if she needed another reason for her shame, it was given to her when the Archbishop replied.

“I have heard the tales of your many grand endeavors. The Lord Commander has also been most effusive in his praise.”

He had spoken about her, to the Archbishop and effective ruler of Ishgard. Furthermore, he had praised her and although she had no idea in what capacity she could only imagine the things he had said. How appropriate was it for the Lord Commander to talk about her to the Archbishop? Even though she was the Warrior of Light, she thought the Archbishop maybe wasn’t entirely accustomed to Aymeric talking to him about anything other than politics and battle strategy. 

She noticed the tops of Aymeric’s ears turn pink, but pretended that she didn’t.

As the Archbishop gave his own introductions, Thalia had to make a concerted effort to keep her eyes trained on him rather than looking over to Aymeric. She had to make an effort to simply sit through what he was saying rather than grabbing Aymeric and dragging him away so she could apologise to him in private.

Frankly, she wasn’t particularly interested in hearing the Archbishop’s apology for his Heavens Ward taking Alphinaud and Tataru, it came with the caveat that their ‘mistake’ had simply been out of a desire to protect Ishgard, which she knew was a lie. 

Ser Zephirin didn’t hold much more interest for her either. She appreciated the apology, truly the gesture was nice, but it didn’t quite sit right with her. She didn’t feel that any of the knights felt any sort of regret regarding the events, simply that they wished for her to not make a fuss of it and lose her support when the Dravanians attacked again. 

The only thing to pique her intrigue was the Archbishop requesting privacy. As Ser Zephirin dismissed the knights, Aymeric was the last to turn to leave. He looked to her as he began to walk away, holding her gaze until he physically couldn’t anymore. She didn’t fully understand the look her gave her, there was concern across his features that she saw immediately but beyond that there was a look she hadn’t seen before. Perhaps anger? She wasn’t sure. She didn’t much like it in any case.

It went out of her head fairly quickly as thankfully the content of the Archbishops speech from that point on was beyond interesting, it was revolutionary and she did her best to remember it word for word to relay to the Scions later. Alphinaud would not soon forgive her forgetting to mention that the Archbishop was pretending to consort with Ascians. She only wished that he was with her as she was lost for words, unable to do much more than simply stare, gobsmacked, and nod at the end of it all. 

Apparently, Ishgard shared the Scions goal of casting out the Ascians and had enough faith in the Warrior of Light to share these goals so that they might be able to work together. It was incredible enough that the Archbishop would freely admit to meeting with Ascians to an outsider, let alone that he would share the details of his exact plan, but it put her mind at ease to know that they would be working together for now.

She ran back to Fortemps Manor, repeating as much of the Archbishops speech as she could remember - she couldn’t afford to relay a single word out of place, the others needed to know exactly what he had said to her and why.

They were as surprised as her when they heard. Alphinaud immediately launched into planning and prediction mentioning the hopelessness of their situation without the rest of their friends, prompting Tataru to recall that Raubahn was to be executed in the coming days. All in agreement that they would need to act immediately to save him, it hit Thalia suddenly that she couldn’t leave Ishgard just yet, she had something to do.

“Could we leave in the morning? There is something that requires my attention.” She said sheepishly, bracing herself for Alphinaud’s response.

“What in the world could you possibly need to do that is more important than this?” He scoffed. “I know you enjoy drinking with Haurchefant but it’s hardly a priority.”

“It’s not that!”

“Then what?” Alphinaud tapped his foot impatiently as Tataru stared at her with a hard expression. She considered her next words, and decided on honesty.

“I need to speak with the Lord Commander.” She wondered if using Aymeric’s title would make it sound more urgent than simply wanting to talk to him; judging by Alphinaud’s face, it hadn’t worked.

“Speak to him when we get back then, he’s not going anywhere.” He sighed.

“It has to be before we leave, I just need to make sure that there won’t be an attack whilst we’re gone.” She pleaded. It wasn’t a wholly unbelievable excuse, hopefully it would be enough to buy her a few minutes before they had to depart.

“I wasn’t aware that you were so interested in Ishgard’s defences.” Alphinaud said suspiciously. The desperation on her face must have been enough to elicit pity from him as he let out a laboured sigh. “We’re not waiting for morning, but we could perhaps benefit from making sure our affairs are in order before we leave.”

She smiled at him and burst out of the front door at once, rushing through the streets of Ishgard towards the Congregation where Aymeric would no doubt be. She wasn’t going to waste time on walking when Alphinaud could whisk her away at any moment, and so she ran, any forethought or planning she may have liked for the situation thrown out the window for the urgency she felt instead.

It wasn’t just the apology she felt she needed to give anymore, after her earlier meeting she felt the need to thank him. His account of her to the Archbishop had been the final piece of the puzzle for her to realise just how ungrateful and cold she’d been towards him. Things that, ironically, she had worried about receiving from him. In her judgement of him as another leader that would be utterly unappreciative of her, she had pre-emptively treated him as such without him giving her reason to.

All heads snapped up as she burst through the doors to the Congregation, Lucia taking a step towards her.

“I was not expecting a visit from you, Warrior of Light.” She said curtly.

“It was unplanned.” Thalia panted. “I wondered if I might see the Lord Commander?”

“A moment, please.” Lucia nodded and stepped into Aymeric’s chambers, closing the door behind her. Thalia waited impatiently, counting up to a hundred and then back down again, the door remained shut long enough for her to be able to do that a few times over. She wondered if Aymeric was going to refuse her, or whether Lucia would encourage him to do so given how upset he seemed following the last thing she said to him. Whatever transpired within that room, the door eventually opened and Lucia walked back out of it.

“Be quick, he has much to attend to today.” She said, holding the door open. Thalia smiled to her and walked in, her heart picking up as the door closed behind her. She wished that she’d had time to plan something to say but resigned herself to simply speak and hope that it came out less nervously than she was feeling.

“Warrior of Light, to what do I owe the pleasure?” Aymeric spoke first and lifted his head to look at her as he gestured to the chair on the opposite side of his desk, she declined to take it and instead stood across from him.

“I’m sure I’ve asked you to call me Thalia.” She said, wincing slightly as he regressed from their first name terms back to formalities. 

“Oh?” He asked, clearly shocked. “Forgive me, I felt that after our last meeting it would only be proper to-”

“I wanted to apologise for that.” She interrupted bluntly. She needed to be quick before Lucia or Alphinaud or anyone else could drag her away before she said all she needed to and managed to mend the damage caused. He stared at her blankly, mouth still open from his unfinished sentence. “For what I said, I mean.”

Aymeric shook his head gently, hair falling over his forehead as he gave her a weak smile 

“There is nothing to apologise for.” He paused, considering his next words. “I presumed that simply because I am in awe of you it would grant me your trust, a ridiculous assumption.” He eventually finished. His kind words made her wish the ground would swallow her whole for how callous she had been. In_ awe _of her. The way he freely admitted it to her, she could only imagine what he may have said about her to others. To the Archbishop. To Lucia. To anyone who would listen. Now that she was listening, really paying attention to him, she saw the shine in his eyes when he spoke to her, saw the curve of his lips with a smile that never disappeared.

He was_ clearly _ in awe of her. And she had refused him.

“Please.” She said quietly. “I don’t deserve such praise after how I have behaved.” 

She took another step closer to the table and rested her hands onto it, similarly to how she had done when she’d been arguing with him, but this time she wasn’t trying to intimidate or upset him, simply be a little closer so that she could properly hold his gaze.

“Perfectly understandable, given the circumstances.” Though his tone was calm and even, Thalia caught the way his expression perked up just a little as she spoke, encouraging her to keep going.

“Not just yesterday but on each of our meetings. I was so worried about you forming a biased opinion of me that I formed my own.” She admitted.

Aymeric tilted his head to the side in question and she did her best to swallow what remained of her pride. She took a deep breath to steady herself, and spoke again.

“I overlooked every kind thing you did for me or my friends because of my judgement. Aymeric, I’m so sorry.” She exhaled the last sentence, she was originally trying for ‘I sincerely apologise’ or something equally as formal but when she looked at him it left her and she went for heartfelt instead. Given the way he grinned at her, he didn’t mind the lack of formality.

“Do you remember, in our second meeting, you said that your judgement of me was inconclusive?” He asked.

“I do.” She replied, confused, not getting the response she had been expecting.

“Does this mean I have successfully swayed the verdict?”

The smile that broke out on her face felt as though it might break it. This was easy. This wasn’t the awkward formal apology she expected, the one that might form an alliance. This was something so much better. She felt as though she was truly making a friend, for the first time since Haurchefant.

“It does.” She chuckled. “I would be most grateful if you would forget my harsh words and let us start anew.”

“No.” Aymeric mused. Her heart stopped for a second, had she been wrong? Had she truly been so unpleasant that even someone that outwardly admired her was unwilling to forgive her?

“I don’t wish to forget it.” He continued. “Friends should know every side to one another, I think.”

She breathed in relief. “They should, I only regret that you should see such an awful side to me quite so soon.”

Aymeric shook his head again, as was becoming his habit around her. 

“Awful? What I saw was a woman fiercely protective of her friends, nothing more.” He said, holding her gaze and chuckling as she felt herself turn slightly pink.

Warmth spread across her as she felt forgiven, not only forgiven but flattered. She had shown some of her worst traits to Aymeric, her judgement and her anger in particular, and he not only forgave her for them, but apparently didn’t even see them as she did. He didn’t appear to think anything less of her for her behaviour, he truly understood it.

Either that or he was a fantastic liar.

“You are kinder than I deserve, but I’m glad of it anyway.” She said, giving him one last smirk before she began to turn away. “I’m sure either Alphinaud or Lucia is going to kidnap me at any moment so I will excuse myself before they have the opportunity.”

“Of course.” Aymeric turned his head back to his desk, looking around himself to the stacks of paper that surrounded him. 

“Until next time.” She said over her shoulder, just catching his response before she left the room.

“I await it impatiently.”


	6. Anticipation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I would ask one more thing of you, however.” He said. She felt the nerves in his voice and felt her stomach grown tight as she swallowed, nervous herself.
> 
> “Yes?”
> 
> “Write to me on your travels.” He rushed, averting his eyes from her as he did.

Thalia didn’t end up back in Ishgard for a long while, though she thought of it often.

As she and Alphinaud had travelled back through Coerthas and into Thanalan she’d wondered if the Dravanians had noticed her leave, if they would use this opportunity to strike the city now that it had lost a defender. She wondered if Aymeric would bother them even if the city were in danger, given how important he knew their cause was. She wondered if Tataru would be protected now that she wasn’t there to check on her. She wondered a lot of things, and relayed them all to Alphinaud who eventually begged her to stop and to talk of anything other than the city proper.

They settled into talking about their lost friends, about who they thought they would conceivably see again and laughed when they realised that they had decided they were likely to see them all. When they finally reached the edges of Ul’dah, all either of them could talk about was how much they had missed the touch of a warm sun and a cool breeze. Truly, neither of them had worn short sleeves in weeks and feeling the sun on her skin, and sinking into her dark scales, Thalia’s desire to return to Ishgard left her for a few hours.

As they came closer and closer, they began to talk strategy, settling into the mind-set of work and battle. Their plan ended up mostly the same as all of their other plans: Alphinaud would do something clever whilst Thalia “took care” of anyone in their way. It hadn’t failed them so far. As they planned, and talked, and laughed, she noticed how long it had been since her and Alphinaud had been on an adventure together. She’d been so wrapped up in other things, she realised that she’d missed him, despite seeing him almost daily, and resided herself to enjoy their time together now even if the situation was bleak.

When the time came for action, both of them were focussed and ready, and she had slightly more fun that she cared to admit. She’d missed the amount of adrenaline that came from doing something worthwhile and risky rather than just attending meetings and talking.

She was pleased to see Raubahn, even more so to free him, and when they’d wandered back to the Waking Sands she’d nearly passed out from excitement the moment she saw Urianger, Pipin and Papashan. They made the best of what they had as she cooked for them all and Alphinaud left to barter wine and ale from the nearby merchants- both knew they couldn’t really afford the time for another night in Ul’dah but were too beside themselves with joy to care.

However, as she and Alphinaud celebrated the return of at least some of her friends, her mind wandered back to Ishgard and its inhabitants.

Surrounded by her once lost friends, merry on wine, she couldn’t keep it to herself any longer.

“You should all come to Ishgard.” She smiled, slurring slightly. “You’d love it. Maybe we could relocate?”

Alphinaud gave her an entertained side glance as he started to laugh, along with the others.

“No thank you. The cold still hasn’t left me.” He replied. “I’m happy to be back in Ul’dah, for now.”

“Perhaps not relocate but you should all visit, it’s a little cold but it grows on you.” Thalia said, looking around the table for anyone to agree with her but instead only being met with raised eyebrows and a beat of silence.

“Dost thou talk of Ishgard or her people?” Urianger questioned. She took a moment to consider before she spoke again.

“Both.” She eventually answered. “But some have warmed up.”

All eyes moved to Alphinaud for him to corroborate her, eyebrows raised in a clear scepticism that they had managed to make not just alliances, but friends in the unfriendly, foreign city. Alphinaud shrugged as he nodded his head.

“It’s true, there are a few that stand out.”

“Haurchefant!” She exclaimed excitedly, spilling her drink as she threw her arms in the air, staining what had originally been a lovely cotton over shirt.

“We already know of Haurchefant.” Urianger sighed, shaking his head with a smirk. “Are there no others?”

“His whole family are wonderful, Count Edmont in particular, I know he’d find a room for you all if you ever did decide to visit. Oh and their manor is just amazing- you need never lift a finger and the food, ugh, the food makes anything else you’ve tasted seem so bland and-“

“You’re rambling.” Alphinaud interrupted.

“Sorry sorry. We’ve also met the Lord Commander and the Azure Dragoon.”

“We’ve met a lot of people in fairness.” He said, smirking as he watched her brow furrow in annoyance. “And we’ve not spoken much to either of them.”

“But the Lord Commander- Aymeric I mean, stands out from the rest do you not think?” She asked.

Alphinaud smirked around his drink as his eyes widened slightly and he turned to look at her with a glint in his eye, she simply shrugged at him and gave him a look to challenge the one he was giving to her.

“Does he stand out? We barely know him.” A moment of silence before his smirk grew wider and he spoke again. “Is this your way of telling me that you fancy him?” He chuckled, reaching to pour himself another drink.

“What?” She whined. “He hasn’t sent me on one single errand.”

“Ah, so all it takes to win you over is a lack of menial tasks. Need I remind you that you have needed to fight at his word, more than once?”

“I don’t mind fighting. And I do not fancy him. I respect him.”

“A fine line.” Alphinaud continued laughing even as she glared at him from across the table. “Alright, alright, it’s only a joke. No need to turn all Warrior-of-Light on me.”

“He saved you and Tataru.”

“No, you did. I admit I like him and I’m sure he’ll be counted among our friends one day, but I’m not sure we’re there just yet.”

Thalia huffed as the conversation moved on, perhaps she’d had too much to drink if she felt the need to argue with Alphinaud about Aymeric. Alphinaud had liked him more than she did to start with, she was unsure how she’d managed to form what she would consider a friendship with him faster than Alphinaud had. Especially given that she had started with dislike when Alphinaud had been open minded from the beginning.

She considered the other part of Alphinaud’s sentence. The Warrior of Light with a crush. She shook her head to herself and dismissed the thought entirely.

It just wasn’t often that she made a new friend without being forced to – shouldn’t she be allowed to be a little excited? And shouldn’t she want the rest of her friends to know him too, just as they had done with Haurchefant? She kept to herself for much of the rest of dinner as those round the table retired to beds one by one, until just she and Alphinaud remained.

“We should try to sleep too, my friend.” He said gently as he stood. “We still need to think of a plan for the Sultana.”

“Perhaps we should just go back to Ishgard for the time being. We could use the aethernet.” She mumbled sleepily, attempting to push herself up once before sliding back down into her chair again.

“I think not. Wine and aetherytes do not mix well, unless you’ve forgotten?”

“That happened once and I was barely sick at all.” Thalia grumbled, wincing at the memory of the last time she’d tried to use an aetheryte with a drink in her. Suffice to say, it hadn’t ended well, and the reminder was enough for her to concede to leave the next day.

Though, as the morning arrived she wished that she hadn’t.

An urgent linkpearl from Tataru had come through first thing as she relayed to them that the horde was once again on the approach and Ishgard was unlikely to be able to withstand the attack. After berating Alphinaud and possibly even gloating a little, they used the nearest aetheryte to transport themselves to Ishgard immediately.

The cold hit her the moment they landed, and once the vague nausea subsided she smiled as she took it in. How Ishgard had come to be more of a sanctuary to her than Ul’dah she didn’t know, but whatever the reason she was pleased to be back, and she raced over to House Fortemps.

Once Count Edmont and Haurchefant once again explained the situation and the fact that they were likely to be asked to fight, Thalia wanted to speak to Aymeric. She wanted to ask his opinion, if he would be on the front line too, if he had developed a strategy- but the Counts next words gave her some measure of sadness.

“I would not have you take up arms in another of our conflicts. When first you came to Ishgard, I offered you my protection. If I cannot ensure your safety here, I cannot well accept your aid, much less ask for it.” He said gravely. Thalia opened her mouth to speak, but was silenced before she could get anything out as he spoke again.

“Scions of the Seventh Dawn, you are faced with a choice: to remain in a besieged Ishgard, or seek sanctuary elsewhere. I would not presume to influence your decision, but I must ask that you make it swiftly, lest our enemies force your hand.”

The room was silent once he spoke. The moment he had presented them the chance to leave, Thalia felt as though she’d had the wind knocked out of her. The idea of leaving a place that she finally felt safe in, of leaving the people she’d met. If they left now, would she even be given the chance to see Aymeric and explain? Unlikely. And at a guess, she thought he would most likely think they left because of something that he had done somehow.

No. Truly it was out of the question. The very fact that she had been presented the option to walk away rather than stand and fight and that no one would think any less of her if she did was the precise reason she knew they needed to stay. When were they ever given that option? When did anyone ever care more for their personal safety than that of the realm? She turned to Alphinaud, and saw the same conflict written across his face.

Thankfully, it seemed that they were of one mind on the subject.

“I, for one, grow tired of running.” He sighed.

“Have you the energy to fight?” She asked, smiling as she sensed his answer.

“Just about.”

She breathed a sigh of relief as Tataru agreed with them, the Scions were not like to abandon those who took them in and gave them a home when they had no other. If fighting an army of dragons was what it took to repay the kindness that they had been given, then they would do no less.

Haurchefant gave her a grin from across the room as he listened in to their conversation.

“Thank you.” He mouthed to her, bowing his head. She simply shook hers and batted a hand.

“Always.” She whispered back.

The three Scions stepped outside to devise their next move; finding that the bite in the air sharpened their focus as they planned. And then, came Alphinaud’s idea.

“If we can persuade Iceheart to act as our intermediary, we may yet be able to convince Nidhogg to abandon his bloody course.”

Thalia’s eyes widened as she was, not the first time, speechless at Alphinaud’s wit. But for the second time that day, she was interrupted before she could speak.

“If there is to be a meeting, I would accompany you.”

She knew at once, Estinien. Sure enough as she turned around, there stood the Azure Dragoon, ready for battle and in full armour already.

“Even with you intermediary, Nidhogg’s bloodrage may render him deaf to reason. However, the mere attempt may afford our forces precious time to prepare.”

It was a valid point, and one that she was quicker to accept than Alphinaud as he argued for the assured safety of Lady Iceheart. She only heard snippets of what came after, knowing what was coming anyway.

A real adventure, with friends, perhaps Haurchefant or Aymeric could accompany them if there would be no fight within the city until their return. The idea filled her with excitement, electricity racing along her skin as she considered the plan similarly to the way she used to consider adventures when she had first undertaken them. As she began to make her own plans, she missed a fair amount of the following conversation, up until the moment that one of them mentioned needing to speak with the Lord Commander, and she had never agreed to someone else’s plan of action more quickly. She was filled with a different sort of excitement as they made their way to the Congregation, one that she wasn’t so familiar with.

A smile broke out on her face from the moment they stepped into Aymeric’s chambers and he greeted them.

“Ah! ‘Twould seem I have visitors – and unlike those massing beyond our walls, these ones are welcome.” Although the greeting was aimed towards them all, he flicked his eyes over to her and gave a small, near imperceptible, smile just for her – she felt the cold from the walk over leave her in an instant.

She allowed Alphinaud and Estinient to divulge the details of their plan, just nodding along when it was appropriate to do so. And although his words spoke of confidence she couldn’t help but notice that something seemed off.

“The Azure Dragoon and the Warrior of Light, sallying forth together to face the dread wyrn, Nidhogg… I must admit the mere thought of it does much to dispel my misgivings. Go then – carry out your plan. I shall do what I can for you within the Holy See.” She caught the furrow of his brow as he spoke, the slight tension in his forehead as his gaze once again switched to her, compelling her to stay for a moment.

And so, as Alphinaud, Estinien and Lucia left to make their preparations, she did. As did he.

“Is there something the matter?” She asked, once they door had closed and they were left alone.

“Not at all.” He replied easily. He stood and walked around his table to stand in front of her, looking down with a warm smile. It was easy to forget how much smaller than him she actually was when he spent most of his time with her sitting as she stood across.

“I would ask one more thing of you, however.” He said. She felt the nerves in his voice and felt her stomach grown tight as she swallowed, nervous herself.

“Yes?”

“Write to me on your travels.” He rushed, averting his eyes from her as he did. He took a breath and spoke again. “It will be better for our defences if I know how long we can expect for you to be away.”

“Ah. Of course.” She nodded, feeling a slight disappointment. She considered keeping it to herself but decided if she was to leave for what could be weeks she may as well be bold. “So you simply wish to hear of our progress?”

Aymeric considered the question, she noticed the tips of his ears turn pink in the same way that they had done when they had been in front of the Archbishop but once again, pretended that she didn’t.

“And anything else you have the time to share.” He eventually muttered. Though she was unsure which one of them had moved, it seemed that they were slightly closer to one another than they were before. She felt as though she ought to do something but was stuck on what. To shake his hand? Too formal. To hug him? Too personal. Yet she wanted to reach out and just do something.

She stopped, telling herself to get a grip.

“It would be my pleasure. I only wish you could accompany us. With mine and Alphinaud’s magic, Estinien’s lance and your sword I’m sure nobody would stand a chance.” She chuckled, attempting to ease the tension that had settled over them.

“Alas, some of us must stay. Besides, I fear I would only slow you down.” Aymeric said with a twinge of sadness to his tone, she was unsure why it was there but she wanted it gone. She felt the want to reach out again, only this time she did, just about catching his hand.

The moment she did it, she regretted it. Now, they were stood across from one another only she had decided to hold his hand. Thinking quickly, she lifted his hand up and placed her other one around it too, hoping that it came across as a reassuring gesture rather than just her inappropriate urge to reach out to him in some way.

“We will return before the horde reaches the gates.” She squeezed her hands around his briefly and then let go. As she glanced up to gauge his reaction, she wasn’t entirely sure what she saw. He was surprised, there was no doubt, but beyond that she was stumped. Was he embarrassed or confused or simply taken aback by her random gesture of affection?

She was taken aback by it, so she could only assume that he would be too.

“Of course.” He said quietly. She turned to leave, giving one more reassuring and slightly nervous smile before she walked away.

“Be careful, my friend.”

She stopped for a moment and turned to speak once more before she left.

“Until next time.” She nodded.

“Until next time.” He agreed.

She closed the door behind her softly, slumping against it and allowing to cool wood to slow her quickly beating heart.

Mortified. That was the word. She was absolutely mortified. _She had tried to hold the Lord Commander’s hand._ Quite why she had done, why she’d even wanted to, was beyond her. She felt as though she couldn’t understand something- that it was just beyond her grasp. But she had no time to dwell on such things.

She was nervous because they were about to face a dragon.

She was excited because they were heading on an adventure.

Her heart was beating so due to the anticipation.

And that was all she needed to know.


	7. Correspondence

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Of course, he respected the Warrior of Light but it was more.
> 
> He adored her.
> 
> The thought of her refused to empty from his mind and he played their last meeting over in his head, recalling the feeling of her fingers against his and wishing that he had been brave enough to return her affection.

_<strike>Ser</strike> Aymeric,_

_I considered the fact that it has been a few days and I am yet to inform you of our progress, for which I can only apologise. There is much and more to tell you but I do not wish to waste what little writing supplies I have and so I’ll be brief. So far, it comes to this:_

_We have successfully enlisted the help of Lady Iceheart and on her word have briefly changed our target from Nidhogg to Hraesvelgr whom she believes will be more open to discussion. We have yet to find out if we were wise to trust her advice as we are currently travelling through the Dravnanian Forelands to find the Wyrm. If all goes well, we will have reached Sohm Al before this reaches you._

_I’m afraid the rest will have to wait._

_Until next time, Lord Commander._

_\- Thalia_

Aymeric had awaited her first letter from almost the moment they left, foolish though he knew it was. When a scrappy letter arrived with no formal address or title attached to it, he knew immediately who it was from and had opened it without hesitation, desperate to hear what she would have written him. He was glad, from the perspective of the Lord Commander, to hear of their progress, he needed to know how their journey was unfolding in order to prepare. But away from duty and necessity, the part of him that was simply himself was a little disappointed.

He wanted to hear about her, about them. He could receive strategic updates from Estinien if he’d wanted them but he wanted her to write to him because he just wanted to hear from her. Were they safe? Was she looking after herself? Had Estinien driven her mad with his stubbornness yet? These were things he was interested in. He had just hoped for something more conversational than formal if he were honest with himself.

It at least made him smile to see the “Ser” crossed out next to his name, and that she had signed simply with her own. He continued to grin to himself as he looked at her handwriting and traced the shape of it with his fingers – not quite the cursive he had been taught to write in but neat and pretty in its’ own way. A true reflection of her, that her character would shine through in every aspect of herself, handwriting included.

Sighing to himself, he took out a blank letter of his own and attempted to put ink to it. He sympathised with her struggle because now that he tried, he was unsure of what to write. Technically this was a formal update from the Lord Commander to the Warrior of Light, but truly he just wanted to write to his friend. He was sure this must have been a difficulty for her too. As he thought about it he eventually settled for a mixture between formal and friendly, surely that was to be expected besides.

** _Thalia,_ **

** _Thank you for your update, I can only assure you that each piece of information you give serves to strengthen Ishgard’s position, and for that I am grateful._ **

** _Your plan seems a wise one, I doubt Nidhogg would ever listen to reason, mayhap this Hraesvelgr will be different. I only hope that amongst your trials and duties you ensure to take care of yourself -that when you return you will be in good health. I will pray for it._ **

** _Ishgard’s position remains much the same, though mine has somewhat shifted._ **

He paused for a moment, considering how bold he should be before he took a deep breath and continued to write.

** _I find myself impatient, not only in wanting to ensure the safety of my people but also in your return. May you reach Hraesvelgr soon so that I might return to normal._ **

** _Until next time, my friend._ **

** _\- Aymeric_ **

He considered his letter for a long while before deciding to follow through with sending it. He checked that each word was perfectly formed and conveyed what he meant it to. On reading it back, he thought maybe it was a little bold, and so he sealed it and had it carried away quickly before he could change his mind. It was true, he was impatient.

Awaiting her return was arduous. Somehow, although his duties were the same whether she was in Ishgard or not, they didn’t feel so dull when he knew she was there. Knowing that she could arrive at any moment to see him made him feel as though he had something to anticipate, even though it had only happened a handful of times so far. And one of those times had been less than pleasant. She was just something different, her and Alphinaud both, but a talk with Alphinaud was usually always business.

She had clearly decided to see him as more than the Lord Commander, something that no one since Estinien, Lucia or perhaps Haurchefant had bothered with. It was rare that someone should want to see him without wanting him to do something for them or to lament him for whatever the Holy See had most recently decided. He wasn’t exactly accustomed to making friends in his position – he had been beside himself when she reached out to him.

Beyond friendship, he had not been subtle in his admiration for her. He had followed the stories told of her for several months before they met, in disbelief that one person should be able to carry the responsibility or burden that she did. The tales of her grace in battle were something he could only hope to witness someday, he was sure she was every bit as skilled as the stories claimed, but it seemed impossible that she could take on the foes she had and still stand.

When he had first seen her, she immediately struck him as small. Not in presence, but in literal stature. Her height was not too much above Alphinaud’s – he had heard that AuRi were as tall as Elezen, but he learned that was only the males.

He’d never seen an Au Ra before. He’d heard the rumours, that they were descended from dragons, he also heard that those rumours were untrue but the moment he saw her he understood them entirely. Scales running down her arms and across her face, disappearing up her neck until they reached the base of her skull. With her hair pulled up as it was, he could make out most of them and see her horns clearly, pointing forwards. He noticed her tail flicking behind her, though he was familiar with Miqo’te he had never seen one covered in those same dark scales that covered her skin and accidentally caught himself staring. He was captivated. She was so interesting to him, so unlike anything he’d seen before.

Her eyes were bright, he had thought limbral rings to be a thing of fiction but she had them – shining light purple rings around her irises, matched to the purple at the ends of her otherwise black hair. Those eyes had made him feel utterly powerless when they had glared at him before the heresy trial and he once again understood the rumours as her entire being seemed to resonate fire in her anger.

He’d had an inappropriate desire to touch her scales from the moment he saw them, in interest more than anything else, would they be as rough under his fingers as he imagined?

When she’d grabbed his hand and wrapped it in both of hers, he’d felt the callouses on her fingertips and the rough scars that covered her palms. Hardened by years of battle, he had never felt anything other than softness from any lady’s hands before that moment. He was fascinated by it.

It was a wonder he felt anything at all from the way his blood rushed as she touched him. He didn’t hear what she said to him for the pounding in his ears, he could barely even speak as she left.

Sighing, he ran a hand through his hair and resigned himself to attempt to get his mind away from his frankly outrageous daydreaming of the Warrior of Light and work through some of the paperwork stacked high on his desk. There was much to be done, yet he struggled to focus on any of it.

He wanted to read her next letter, knowing it would be at least 2 days before he received it if she even decided to reply. The time would drag, he knew.

With one last thought to her, he put his head down and tried to work.

\----

_Aymeric,_

_I apologise, it has been longer than I intended. Lady Iceheart, or Ysayle as I now prefer, and I were tasked with defeating the Gnath’s primal, something I am sure I will relay to you in proper detail when we next meet._

_I had written last time hope of having reached Sohm Al, but this was impossible without the support of the dragons residing within Aynx Trine, our victory over the Gnath awarded us their co-operation and we will be moving on Sohm Al within the day._

_Although we are making good progress as a team, I can’t help but wish I had come alone to spare myself the bickering of Ysayle and Estinien on the nature of dragons and man. Alphinaud is confident I will have the answers, for which we will have to wait and see._

_I can only apologise for causing you distraction from your duties and assure you that as soon as I return to Ishgard I will move straight to the Congregation to put you out of your misery. And perhaps alleviate me of my own._

_Until next time, may it come sooner rather than later_

_\- Thalia_

Thalia felt her fingertips buzz with excitement as she concluded her letter. She stared at it, reading it repeatedly and considering whether it came across as nonchalant as she hoped. There was the standard update as was to be expected, but all she truly focussed on was her penultimate line.

“Perhaps alleviate me of my own.”

Was it too forward? Inappropriate? She wasn’t sure how to respond, Aymeric’s reply had been far from the one she was expecting. It was personal. Personal enough that she could almost hear him saying it aloud – she could sense the hesitation put into the final lines and the courage needed to send it. Well, she was going through the same process in her response.

She felt conflicted. Whatever the friendship between her and Aymeric was exactly she couldn’t say, but she was enjoying it. There was a level of respect commanded from the both of them for the other as a professional of sorts. There was also a warmth to it all, a chemistry between them that she at first considered friendly but was quite unlike any of the friendships she had formed to date.

As she read her letter over again, Estinien came to sit beside her.

“An update to Aymeric?” He asked, armour clanging as he dropped heavily to the floor. He spread one leg in front of him and bent the other at the knee, resting an arm on top as he gazed out over the Forelands.

They were stunning. Thalia had found this spot early in their exploration and been adamant that they return. High on one of the hills, away from anything that might harm them but also able to see for miles, as dusk encroached on them a light sunset was her backdrop as she wrote to Aymeric. Perhaps inspiring her confidence.

“So that he knows our position.” She replied easily, folding the letter gently and placing it to her side.

“I’m fairly convinced that he doesn’t much care for our position. Or at least not mine.” Estinien said quietly. She turned to look at him, an eyebrow raised in question and he shrugged in response. “In all the quests I’ve been sent on for Ishgard, he has never once asked me for an update.”

“There was never once a Dravanian horde on the doorstep.”

“It matters not.”

They sat in silence for a few minutes. She knew was Estinien was trying to say, but resisted to believe it. The situation in Ishgard was dire, the temple knights needed to understand their strategy and Aymeric couldn’t know what to do unless he knew their progress.

But then, he should’ve asked Estinien for that.

Were he writing to Estinien, would he feel impatience for his return?

“I find him difficult to read.” She muttered after a while. Estinien turned to face her but as he kept his helmet on it was difficult to understand what his reaction was. Somehow though, she felt she was less confused by Estinien with his helmet on than Aymeric when he was facing her.

“He has always been one for propriety.” He said. “If you are awaiting him to make his thoughts known, you will be waiting for a long time.”

“But you think you know?” She asked, turning so that she sat cross legged staring straight to him, a sudden desperation appearing for his answer. He considered it for a moment before he spoke again.

“I do not wish to be involved in other’s affairs, but I have known Aymeric for many years. Never have I known him to care more about a Warrior’s personal safety than Ishgard itself.”

His response confused her – she hadn’t shared Aymeric’s letter with any of them, the only way he could know that Aymeric had prayed for her health was if-

“You read it!” She realised, much more slowly than she would have liked. Estinien chuckled lowly as he stood, looking to her once more.

“Forgive me, I only wished to understand Ishgard’s position.” He said, pausing for a moment before speaking again. “You should send your love letters separately if you wish them to be private.”

He continued to laugh to himself as he walked back over to Alphinaud and Ysayle to help them cook and build the fire back up. Thalia felt her embarrassment creep up her neck and cover her face in a shade of red so kept her back to the rest of them.

Embarrassed as she was by Estinien’s words, she was grateful for them. Though she still didn’t entirely understand Aymeric’s mind, nor her own, she was sure that whatever they had was different from anything he had formed before. Something as special as she thought it to be. It was comforting, and given the reassurance she was sure of her letter.

“Fortune favours the bold.” She whispered to herself as she picked the letter back up and sealed it, stuffing it into her bag to send at the next given opportunity.

\----

When the letter had come, Aymeric had felt as though he might soar from the relief. Having not heard from them for some time, he had begun to wonder the worst. He almost didn’t care about the content, the fact it had arrived was proof enough that they were all safe.

That she was safe, though he attempted to push this initial thought down for something less selfish.

He had wasted no time in penning his reply, more considered now that he’d had several days to plan what he would say to her next.

** _Thalia,_ **

** _Full glad am I to hear that you are safe. By the time you receive this no doubt you will have placed yourself in the danger of Sohm Al, but I have every confidence that you will emerge unscathed._ **

** _My efforts to halt Ishgardian forces are becoming ever more difficult, I can only hope that I can give you sufficient time to carry out your plan._ **

** _Knowing that you plan on visiting the Congregation I have given every knight the instruction to allow you immediate access, night or day, that you should not be turned away at any hour and we may meet as soon the situation allows._ **

** _I admit, it gives me a measure of pride to know I am not the only one eagerly awaiting our next meeting. Mayhap we should discuss your travels in private upon your return?_ **

** _Until next time, be safe_ **

** _\- _ ** ** _Aymeric_ **

Her letter had filled him with confidence, spurring him to be more confident than he felt he had ever been.

The heaviness in his stomach, the worry he carried with him, the way he tossed at night was enough to tell him what he had been ignoring from the moment he saw her.

Of course, he respected the Warrior of Light but it was more.

He _adored_ her.

The thought of her refused to empty from his mind and he played their last meeting over in his head, recalling the feeling of her fingers against his and wishing that he had been brave enough to return her affection.

Given her task, the threat of losing her to the danger she was throwing herself into was enough to confirm it all. Aymeric had lost friends before, and the hurt he felt would pale next to the anguish he would experience were she not to return.

He was almost ashamed. The number of interactions they’d had were few and far between and yet each one had filled him with nerves and wanting. Not once had she left and he hadn’t wished to call after her and ask her to stay, just to talk with her, and know her better. He wanted to know her truly, the way that precious few ever got the chance to.

In her time away, he had spoken with Haurchefant in an attempt to understand her feelings on the matter because in his heart he felt he could never be so lucky as to have her feel even a small amount towards him as he did her. He had been cryptic, but revealed just enough.

He was sick of wondering, he wished to be plain and explain to her exactly what he wanted. Just as soon as he figured it out himself.


	8. Revelation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “What must you think of me?” He muttered, speaking again before she had the chance to reply. “What must you, who fights for fairness and light, think of the Lord Commander of a city built on deception?”
> 
> She took a step closer to him and braced herself. If he was going to speak to the Archbishop and put himself in that much danger, the term ‘now or never’ had never been so apt. Feet planted and back straight, as if she were going into battle, she reached forward for his hand, slowly pulling it towards herself. She exhaled sharply with relief as he allowed her to pull him closer, meeting with no resistance or hesitation.

She felt guilty about not returning Aymeric’s final letter with one of her own, she’d just been swept up in other things.

Swept up and too scared to write anything down, if truth be told. Aymeric’s question had taken her by surprise and though she had tried hard to convince herself that his invitation had been meant as a gesture of friendship there was a part of her which didn’t believe that. That part of her was nervous and excited and just _terrified_.

Somehow, she had managed to visit Ishgard to see Cid without visiting Aymeric and, hopefully, without him knowing that she had passed through. She’d also travelled back to Ul’dah briefly and then finally arrived at the Aery.

She and Estinien had managed to slay Nidhogg. All without her deigning to inform Aymeric of any of it. Alphinaud had sent a letter when she’d asked him too, for once not asking her a thousand questions about why, for which she was grateful. So he knew what they were doing and where they were, just not the answer to the question he had asked.

** _Mayhap we should discuss your travels in private upon your return?_ **

It gave her goosebumps just to consider it. A shiver down her spine at the prospect of having more than mere minutes with him and being able to talk about more than duty. To turn their coy words and shyness into something else.

But she’d thought that she would at least have some measure of time to consider what she would do and say, what she even wanted, before they were summoned back. That was taken from her moments after Nidhogg’s defeat as Estinien approached and told her that Aymeric had asked that they return to Ishgard immediately. The city was under attack.

And so return they did.

To see Haurchefant’s face was a relief. He shot her a smile as soon as he saw her, a relief given the circumstances, and along with Ysayle aided them in calming the heretics that had invaded the city. With Nidhogg dead, there was little to fight over. Though her mind weighed heavy on the revelation granted to her by Hraesvelgr and her own echo.

Perhaps the knowledge that everything Aymeric claimed to fight for was a lie had made it difficult to send any more letters too. It was something she only wanted to reveal to him in person, yet the guilt of having not shared it thus far meant that making small talk or flirty banter felt wrong to her. She had mentioned it incredibly briefly in her last letter, but refused to divulge any details at all. How could she face him and tell him that man was to blame for the war? That there was no conceivable difference between the high and low born? To shake everything he knew hadn’t been the first thing that she had wanted to do when she saw him again.

After they calmed both the temple knights and the heretics, she could no longer keep it a secret and paced straight over to Haurchefant, telling him all that they’d learnt. Interested though he was, he knew who should be informed and before the whole story could be told, Estinien left to fetch Aymeric and take him to Fortemps Manor.

Haurchefant accompanied her but the walk there was as walks in Ishgard always were. Cold and slow. She barely felt it however as her head swum, finally forced to confront the revelation she had been ignoring for so long. Whilst they had been away it had almost felt unreal, as if none of it could be true or that even if it were it wouldn’t matter. The Churning Mists had made it seem an abstract problem. But now, feet firmly on Ishgardian stone, she knew the gravity of what she was about to say. She couldn’t manage to say anything to Haurchefant, though she was glad of his company, and glad even more so as he gave her a reassuring smile before he led her inside.

She made a mental note to see him alone when all was done, sit with him as a friend again and talk about nothing.

Pushing open the door to Fortemps Manor, she saw Aymeric first. Unable to hide his glee as he looked to her for the first time in weeks, she struggled to meet his eyes as she knew the smile would soon fade. As was typical of Haurchefant, he started with the good news, that Nidhogg was dead and that Lady Iceheart had called for peace, all of the parts of the story that she would have been happy to share. As all eyes turned to her, she took a deep breath and let all of it go.

That man was a traitor that had betrayed the dragons. That the stories behind the lineage of high borns was a lie. That Ishgardian faith was founded upon nothing.

She saw Aymeric and Count Edmont almost wince as she spoke, and while she could sense the disappointment and surprise from them both, she saw what seemed to be hurt written across Aymeric. Both took a moment, processing, before they began to speak once again about the good news.

However, Alphinaud brought the conversation back to the place it needed to be, as always.

“What of the truth revealed to us by Hraesvelgr? That the origins of the Dragonsong War – a core tenet of Ishgardian faith – are quite unlike those depicted in the scriptures.” He asked. She almost wanted to tell him to be quiet and allow them all to relish the end of Nidhogg. Celebrate, and leave the rest for another day. To let her take Aymeric away somewhere and talk of anything else at least for a small while before they both had to tend to their duties.

Of course, no one would allow it, least of all Aymeric. His head hung, he spoke of the claims and just as he never questioned that Alphinaud or Tataru were innocent, he didn’t question the validity of her story now. So easily accepting that everything he knew was wrong, simply because it was her that told him so. She listened as best she could, but her attention was drawn to the hurt and worry he showed, wondering if this was something he was able to deal with after all. Eventually, something he said really caught her attention and saw her heart beat rise and her hands turn sweaty.

“This state of affairs cannot be allowed to continue.” He muttered, eyes to the ground.

Panic. Instantly she felt panic. Apparently she wasn’t the only one as those around raised their concerns about the idiocy of speaking to the Archbishop on the matter. Each taking their turn to remind him that at best he would be locked away and at worst-

No. She shook her head violently though unable to speak, letting the others do it for her and hoping that he would just listen to one of them.

“At least the archbishop will have shown his true colours. My friends, this war will never truly be at an end until the truth is made known.”

She prayed the next words out of his mouth would be a retraction or a consideration of the danger he was so willingly throwing himself into.

“You must see what lies on the horizon if it is now. When ruled by fear of a common enemy, we were united. But now we have none. During the war, the highborn needed men to lead, and the lowborn, men to follow. Not anymore. ‘Tis but a matter of time before the old order is called into question.”

He looked to her then, she could see the apology on the tip of his tongue and the regret of what he was about to do. She understood the dilemma, the need to rush headfirst into duty but the selfishness beneath to just ignore and pretend this could wait for another day. They could have their private chat, about everything else she saw while away and none of this.

But that wouldn’t make either of them who they were, she knew they were of one mind, so she almost couldn’t look as he turned and walked away, knowing what he was about to face. The fear that filled her was quite unlike anything else she’d experienced as she watched him reach the door. He stopped, and she thought that maybe he would turn around and they could think of something, anything else.

“A divided Ishgard will not survive.” He said finally without looking back to them, and then he was gone.

She was gripped by a cold terror. She knew that could be the last time she saw him, never having told him anything that she wanted to and finding out if he thought of her the way she hoped he did.

The others began to speak about saving him, about charging into the Vault and dragging him out of it but she couldn’t hear them. She was sure her silence would be taken for agreement and the moment everyone else was quiet, she left.

She offered no explanation, though she caught Haurchefant’s confusion and Alphinaud’s knowing smile. She couldn’t care.

As she burst out of the manor she could still just about see him in the distant, striding away from her, she had no idea what to say, but spoke anyway.

“Aymeric!” She shouted into the dark, chasing after his barely visible figure in an attempt to catch up to him. Thankfully, he stopped and turned, giving her time to come face to face with him, looking up to meet his gaze. He smiled at her sadly, and ever so gently brushed away a piece of hair from in front of her eyes, dropping his hand down to his side after.

“What must you think of me?” He muttered, speaking again before she had the chance to reply. “What must you, who fights for fairness and light, think of the Lord Commander of a city built on deception?”

She took a step closer to him and braced herself. If he was going to speak to the Archbishop and put himself in that much danger, the term ‘now or never’ had never been so apt. Feet planted and back straight, as if she were going into battle, she reached forward for his hand, slowly pulling it towards herself. She exhaled sharply with relief as he allowed her to pull him closer, meeting with no resistance or hesitation.

“I _must_ think nothing. However, what I do think is that the first person in history to attempt to change that same city must be a brave one.” She whispered. Aymeric didn’t reply, though he shut his eyes and sighed before looking upwards, as though expecting to find answers written above like his Astrologians might.

“I never gave a reply to your letter, is it too late to discuss my travels in private?” She asked, smiling when he chuckled and looked down to her, stars in his eyes.

“Unfortunately.” He said simply. Feeling brave, she weaved her fingers in between his so there could be no mistake. There was no cover for her actions, she was holding his hand for a second time, not under the guise of comfort or support, but simply because it set her entire being alight and she wanted to.

“I suppose that trying to convince you not to go would be waste of my breath?” She asked, hopeful that perhaps the warmth of their joined hands or the way she was surely looking at him would be enough to convince him to stay. For a moment, she thought it might be.

“It would.” She felt her heart sink as he spoke for he also dropped her hand, the sinking was soon replaced with soaring however when that same hand rested on her face, a thumb tentatively ghosting over her cheek, catching a few of her scales.

“If I were to turn back now, how could I ever be worthy?” She felt the slight pressure on her cheek increase as he spoke, sensing the tension within him. She placed her hand on top of his softly, stilling the thumb that had moved to trace her jawline.

“You have been worthy of your titles long before this moment.”

“No.” He used the grip he had on her to tug her just a little closer, so that she felt not just his hand on her face but also his breath touching along her skin, warming her where the cold bit and stung.

“I don’t follow.” She breathed. The proximity, the touch, the atmosphere, it was too much, it was making her stupid. Unable to comprehend even the most basic of words as her head swum, giddily focussed on nothing but his light touch and his bright eyes.

“Worthy of you.”

That she understood. The moment she heard him speak it was as if she was sent into shock and for a moment she had to focus on the pain that the cold brought to her fingertips just to be sure that she was awake. She stood in front of him unable to speak and willing herself not to nod as she usually would in such a situation. For days and weeks she had been not entirely sure of what she wanted and in that second the way her mind short circuited and the pure fire she felt beneath her skin told her completely.

“I can only apologise for my timing, I had hoped for longer.” Aymeric continued to speak, barely loud enough to be heard. “I had wanted time to court you properly, to ensure that you returned my affections but if I am to be tried or locked away for heresy I feel I would regret my inaction for as long as I have left.” She still couldn’t speak, couldn’t move for fear of shattering the moment like glass. Worry painted itself over his face as he spoke once more.

“Have I misread the situation?”

A small shake of her head.

“You would tell me if my advances were unwanted?”

With a moment’s hesitation, she nodded. Though, she barely managed the action once before Aymeric’s free hand gripped her waist and tugged her forwards, his other hand moving to her chin, cupping her face delicately as he stared down at her.

Eventually, light as a feather and slow enough that she could evade him should she want to, he touched his lips to hers.

She had fought primals, taken down beast tribes and empires, killed ascians and dragons as though they were nothing. None of it compared to the adrenaline that pulsed through her as he kissed her. There was no fight that could fill her with the electricity that she felt as his lips brushed over hers, light pressure as he pulled her bottom lip between his. And no victory could ever give her the satisfaction or warmth she felt as his hand tightened around her waist, pulling her as close as physically possible.

At no time in her life had she felt so vulnerable or delicate, keenly aware of how he towered over her as she craned her neck to reach him, standing on her toes to make it easier. His hand splayed across her cheek again as he pulled himself away, meeting her eyes once more as he pressed their foreheads together.

“Thalia, I-“

“If it’s an apology then I don’t want to hear it.” She interrupted. Breathless, giddy, and unable to control the smile breaking out across her face. He laughed and pulled back farther, separating them completely. The loss of warmth was instant, not just from losing his body so close to hers, but from losing the sparks breaking out across her skin wherever he touched. She had to remind herself of who they both were to keep from dragging him back to her again.

“Now, whatever happens, at least neither of us will be left wondering.” He smiled to her once more before he turned away, once again walking away from her towards something dangerous and unpredictable. Finally, she understood how he must have felt as she left Ishgard each time.

“If you don’t come back, I will personally murder every member of the Knight’s Twelve.” She called to him. It had originally been meant as a joke, though as the words left her she sensed the truth behind them.

For the final time, he stopped and looked to her.

“If they try to keep me from you, I will do it myself.”


	9. Consideration

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gritting her teeth, she surged forward, hand on her grimoire ready to strike as soon as she was close enough. Mind wholly focussed on Aymeric and the action she was taking for him, she barely heard Haurchefant’s voice from behind her.
> 
> “Look out!”
> 
> INCREDIBLE Heavensward spoilers so please don't read unless you've finished it!!

“It’s been too long.”

“Not long enough.”

“Far too long.”

“Not even a day.”

“Godsdammit!” Thalia snarled as she rammed her palms down onto the table separating her from Alphinaud. He looked to her, collected as ever, yet clearly irritated beneath it. “If he were a Scion we’d already have been to rescue him. He does not matter less simply because he’s not ‘one of us’.”

Alphinaud’s reaction, or lack thereof, only served to add more fire to her blood, more heat to her words. She was livid, frustrated_, scared._ It didn’t matter if Aymeric had been in the Vault for an hour or a week- for him to be there for any longer than a conversation should take meant that they had not allowed him to leave. At best, he was likely being dragged off to a cell to be left and at worst-

She gulped loudly and looked back to Alphinaud, he leaned back in his chair and raised an eyebrow to her.

“And he does not matter more simply because you are fond of him.” He muttered, bracing himself for the reaction.

“I have nothing to do with this! He is our only hope for change to Ishgard and for the Eorzean alliance besides, and you want to leave him there?” She asked incredulously.

“Obviously I don’t intend to leave him there I just feel that if we were to attempt a rescue now it would end poorly for all involved.” He replied easily, slumping as though the simple act of talking to her was too much. She bunched her fists once and released the tension again, trying to thinking clearly between the fog that had come over her mind.

“You speak of fondness but were Estinien there instead you would already have lead the charge.”

It was somewhat a low blow, that she knew. Alphinaud had lost all sense of trust in others following the incident with the Crystal Braves and it had taken a long while before he would dream of considering anyone outside of herself or Tataru amongst the friends he still had. Yet on their travels, he and Estinien had formed a strange sort of friendship that she didn’t fully understand, but a friendship none the less, and she could see what it had done for him.

But at this moment it only angered her further because she knew she was right. It just so happened that it was Aymeric that was in there rather than Estinien, but were it reversed Alphinaud would have refused to wait as long as he was asking of her. Especially unfair given she would consider herself and Aymeric to be closer than Alphinaud and Estinien. In a way, at least.

“I may well have tried.” Alphinaud admitted after a few seconds. “But in that scenario I would have expected you to attempt to dissuade me as I am doing for you now. Particularly if my plan was as badly considered as yours.”

“It is not badly considered.”

“It consists of walking in there and fighting anyone between us and him.”

“I am the Warrior of Light.”

“And still outnumbered even if all present were to join you and if any one of them had a sense of self-preservation they would wait too.”

“I will stand with you.”

Thalia looked behind herself to find the source of the familiar voice and grinned as she saw Haruchefant smiling back at her.

“Whenever you choose to go, it will not be alone.” He nodded to her, a gesture which she returned, hoping that the warmth she felt for him in that moment could be conveyed in a gesture so simple. The soft smirk across his features gave her confidence that she had succeeded.

“Regretfully, I must side with Alphinaud.” Came Lucia’s voice from across the room. “I agree that to fetch him when the time comes will be imperative- but he only left us moments ago, we cannot storm the Vault without good reason and good strategy.”

“Finally.” Alphinaud sighed. Thalia shot him a glare and huffed. Alphinaud had a history of continuously curbing her impulses in a way that had a habit of getting on her nerves but Lucia hadn’t had the opportunity to get on her bad side before. And she had to admit, if there was anyone else in the room that cared for Aymeric as she did it was Lucia. Unfortunately, she didn’t share the blind confidence in her that Haurchefant had so whilst their desires were likely the same, they would differ on attitudes to the approach.

“I see.” Was all she could say, her head swimming as it was. “Will you all please excuse Haurchefant and me for a moment?”

No one gave her answer before she walked out the door, Haurchfant following quickly behind, though he gave a polite bow to the room before he left. Truly she wasn’t asking for anyone’s permission but more just informing them all of what was happening so as not to appear too rude.

They didn’t go far, it was dark and so they stood near to the house so as to be underneath the light from it. She leaned against one of the brick walls heavily and looked to Haurchefant.

“Am I being ridiculous?” She asked. He looked at her with what seemed to be pity in his eyes before he started to laugh quietly.

“Honestly?” He chuckled. She nodded. “Yes.”

She couldn’t hold back her own laugh then as she saw the glee in his eyes, despite everything that was happening around them, she laughed. As Ishgardian history crumbled around them and their friend stayed captive and any semblance of peace around them shattered, they stood there and laughed together in the dark.

“Not as ridiculous as the fool that still chooses to follow you, however.” He smiled, placing a hand on her shoulder briefly before letting it drop again.

“Not a fool, a friend.” She stated seriously, feeling herself come back to reality. “Which is more than Alphinaud can say.”

“Be reasonable, my friend.” Haurchefant replied, cheeky edge to his voice. “You have always been impulsive where Alphinaud is calculated.”

“I am right though. If it were Estinien, or even you in there, we would be halfway to your cell by now.” She muttered, shaking her head. She crossed her arms over her torso in an attempt to keep as much warmth to her as was possible. Now that the anger was subsiding, so too was the heat that she had felt a moment ago.

“Were I in a cell I would expect you to free me almost immediately. Alphinaud or not.” He joked. She gave him a smirk and nudged his arm with hers playfully.

“You know I would.”

They stood there silently for a few minutes. The lack of conversation fine with her, she just appreciated his company, something which had been rather lacking over the past few weeks preoccupied as they had both been. She made a mental note to take him back to the Forgotten Knight once their latest crusade was over.

She closed her eyes and breathed deeply, attempting to calm her ever fluctuating emotions. The thought of Aymeric being there, trapped with those people, in danger. She felt a shiver run down her which had nothing to do with the temperature piercing her skin. Observant as ever, Haurchefant seemingly sensed her tension.

“The reason I would follow you into the Vault were you to ask me to go now is that I know that your personal feelings, whatever they may be, are not the sole reason for your actions.” He said, looking her in the eyes with an unspoken understanding. She had no idea how he would know anything of her and Aymeric’s relationship, having not had the chance to talk about it, and yet he alluded that he did. The tint in his eye and the quirk of his lips giving him away.

“Is that so?” She asked, maintaining his gaze.

“Your reaction tonight reminds me of Alphinaud and Tataru’s false imprisonment.” He continued. “And I can only assume that your feelings for Aymeric somewhat differ from your feelings for Tataru.”

She was sure that if it were possible to feel any sort of warmth out in the Ishgardian night, she would feel her face grow hot as it turned red. She felt foolish. To think that she could hide anything from Haurchefant was folly- let alone when he remained somewhat a friend of Aymeric’s too. Of course he had noticed, she supposed it had been less than subtle.

“Meaning?” She whispered eventually, wondering how far he would push the matter.

“Simply meaning that I believe you when you say this has nothing to do with you or your feelings. Your reaction would be the same for each of us.” He smiled.

Then it was dropped, and she was grateful because she wasn’t entirely sure how true his words were. Typical of him to see the best in her even when her judgement was severely clouded. Love Alphinaud though she did, there was something special about the extent to which Haurchefant refused to acknowledge her worse traits and instead resolutely only saw the good. No matter how hard she made it for him.

It reminded her of the way Aymeric claimed to see her, and she felt the warmth from earlier return, though not as anger.

“I think.” She said slowly, pushing herself away from the manor wall. “That I have rather been neglecting a firm friend of mine. Do you think he would forgive me if I bought him a drink later?”

“Though I’m certain you do not need forgiveness, this friend would needs be moronic to turn away a free drink in your company.” Haurchefant smirked. They met each other’s eyes once more, enjoying the moment as it lasted. She finally quirked her head back towards the entrance and he nodded in return and with one more breath of icy air she dragged herself back into the manor.

All eyes snapped to her as she entered, Alphinaud’s determined look standing out amongst the rest.

“I’ve got the plan.”

\------

It had taken a great deal of humility to swallow her pride and admit that Alphinaud and Lucia’s plan was a good one, and once she had done so Alphinaud had not soon let her forget it. 

It took a little longer than she would have liked, but it largely hinged on rescuing Aymeric whilst ensuring he was harmed no more than necessary which she was largely in favour of. Not only that, but she had been able to fight with just one of the knights responsible for his imprisonment so far, which had been immensely satisfying, particularly with Alphinaud and Haruchefant at her back. The ordeal had also lead them to Hilda, something she was quite grateful of by the time that she agreed to help them.

It was finally time, however. With many of Ishgard’s defenders having been lured out of the city by imagined danger of a heretic army, the entrance to the Vault was open.

The only part of the plan she despised was the part that put her in charge of finding and chasing the Archbishop and the Heavens Ward rather than rescuing Aymeric, something that had fallen mainly to Lucia. Nevertheless she couldn’t argue that it made the most sense for that to be her role, and since discovering the truth of Aymeric’s parentage she wouldn’t mind landing a hit on the Archbishop if the opportunity arose.

She chased and cut through the Heavens Ward without too much trouble, particularly enjoying the pain she caused Ser Charibert as he attempted to burn her, short lived as the joy was when he and Ser Zephirin fell back, leaving her running after both them and an airship. She saw, as the knights and the Archbishop began to board and gritted her teeth. Surely they were joking if they thought she would let them simply fly away.

And then, her mind halted. She heard footsteps behind her and somehow, as she turned round, there was Aymeric. Clutching his arm and limping but surrounded by Lucia, Estinien and Haruchefant. He looked to her only briefly, face softening ever so slightly before his features returned back to ice and steel as he limped forward.

“Father, please!” He called.

She could barely contain the hiss she wanted to let out. A man to do that to their Son, to a Son as impressive as Aymeric, didn’t deserve such a title. She had to remind herself of her place to keep from yanking Aymeric back behind her and stopping the rest of them for good.

Once again, seeming to sense her mood, Haurchefant spoke up.

“We were not too late, my friend!” He exclaimed, smiling as ever. She simply nodded to him, pleased that he had taken his place by her side as though prepared to act exactly as she did. It comforted her to know that with him standing beside her, whatever she did, it would be with reinforcement.

As Aymeric continued to plead with the Archbishop, her temper grew. The man had the audacity to call Aymeric a fool for what he was doing, and she saw the sadness in his eyes as he listened to his Father’s response, she could barely take it.

She kept reminding herself that he was alive, he was okay, he was stood next to her. But the pain of seeing Aymeric so unsure of himself was growing. It was almost worse than the hurt she felt for seeing him clearly injured. They continued to move, clearly intending to ignore everything that Aymeric was begging them for and he was in no fit state to stop any of them. It was too much. The pain and the anger coupled with the idea of them flying away after all they had done was simply too much to bear.

She looked to Haurchefant in the exact moment he looked to her, they gave each other a knowing smile and a nod before they launched forwards together. No one else had thought to move, not having the synchronicity that they shared and so no one either stopped or joined them.

Gritting her teeth, she surged forward, hand on her grimoire ready to strike as soon as she was close enough. Mind wholly focussed on Aymeric and the action she was taking for him, she barely heard Haurchefant’s voice from behind her.

“Look out!”

She only realised what was happening when she felt his back ram into her side. As she looked up she could see his shield raised against a bright light, just holding it at bay from piercing them both. He pushed her backwards and she stood dumbfounded, taken aback by the assault and her sudden loss of focus. She went to move, before she noticed the light move too and realised its position had changed and it had gone straight through Haurchefant.

The silence that followed was astounding. She wanted to scream in anguish but there was nothing there, he had fallen at her feet, bleeding from the mouth and barely breathing.

“Lord Haurchefant!” Aymeric exclaimed one minute and the next he was next to her with everyone else, lifting Haurchefant’s head and cradling him gently as he struggled to breathe.

Since the attack back in Ul’dah, this was the first time she had felt utterly powerless and all she could do was look down at him as his eyes found hers.

“You… you are unharmed? F-forgive me… I could not bear the thought of… of…”

Despite his clearly wavering strength he reached a hand up to her and she grabbed it quickly with both of her, squeezing as she knelt beside him and lowered her head, shaking it with disbelief. That this could be happening was unthinkable. Someone could heal him. The chirurgeons or Alphinaud or she could even try with the limited healing magicks that she possessed. The thought was fleeting as she remembered that he had been struck by pure light. His aether would be damaged.

She was left with the cold reality that he couldn’t be healed.

Tears came to her eyes as she looked to him and, somehow, he still managed to smirk at her.

“Oh, do not look at me so. A smile better suits a hero.”

With every piece of emotional strength she had, she forced back her tears, removed the blinding hurt from her face and smiled at him. Just slightly, it was all she could manage.

His eyes brightened once more as he smiled back at her, still the only person in the room to find joy in such a situation.

And then his eyes closed, and his head fell back.

She felt the smile leave her immediately, grief returning to her once more as she looked at his lifeless body, still being cradled by Aymeric.

For the first time, with Aymeric beside her, she barely even noticed him. Couldn’t see anything but Hauchefant and couldn’t feel anything but anguish as she stared at the face of her friend, all humour removed from it for the first time since she’d met him.

All at once, the numbness set in.

It didn’t alleviate as they carried his body away and it didn’t let up as she saw Alphinaud, allowing him to pull her into his arms as she finally let out her first set of tears.

Certainly, it didn’t budge when she watch Count Edmont collapse in front of her, broken over his fallen Son.

And so, unfeeling and barely conscious, she eventually collapsed onto a bed in Haurchefant’s home. The one he had worked so hard to invite her into.

As with most current nights, her mind drifted to Aymeric, but the familiar tingle and warmth she associated with him was replaced by guilt. She had allowed herself to be blinded by him, to be selfish in her want of him, to forget those around her because all she could consider was him.

In the process, she had lost someone irreplaceable. A mistake she intended not to repeat.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone- if you haven't completely forgotten about this fic then thanks for reading, sorry it took so long this time it's just that work has really been kicking me lately but here it finally is, hope it was worth the wait!


	10. Conclusion

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I was so focused on you that I forgot about everyone else.” She blurted, feeling tears spring to her eyes. “If it hadn’t been for Lucia and Alphinaud I might have gotten us all killed.”
> 
> His expression was so soft, encouraging her tears as she took in the sight of someone that she clearly didn’t deserve. Someone still concerned for her, despite what she had done and despite what he had been through and someone that miraculously didn’t seem to blame her for any of it.

Although she had been so physically exhausted that she had passed out almost the moment she collapsed, her mind had not allowed her the privilege of staying asleep.

When she woke it was pitch black. Whilst that could mean it was the early hours of the morning rather than the middle of the night the exhaustion weighing on her meant that she favoured the likelihood of the latter. Usually, she might check for movement outside of her window but she couldn’t find the energy and so remained motionless on the bed.

How she would find the motivation to do much at all she didn’t know.

There seemed little point to fight for Ishgard anymore. The best person that had lived there had been murdered by its supposed protectors, were she less fortunate they would have murdered her too. If it had been anyone else, she thought she might have been fuelled by bloodrage- by a sense of revenge that would drive her to end the cruel regime once and for all.

But it didn’t feel right.

Even in death, he begged her to smile. She could not possibly justify a hate fuelled revenge as something that he would have wanted. Guilt panged low in her stomach and she considered that her pain and apathy wouldn’t have been what he wanted either, but it was the best she could do.

It was clear that sleep wasn’t going to come again, so she was left alone with her thoughts. Her whole mind swam with him. All she could see was his smirk and all she could remember was his company beside her- a loyalty and absolute trust she had never felt before. Despite it all, she couldn’t bear to even think his name, her mind rejecting it before it could manifest properly. She hadn’t considered that there was anything to lose besides Aymeric.

Selfish as she was, she was too concerned with him to think of anyone else. This could just as easily have been Alphinaud had he been there, or Tataru if she had gotten caught in the cross fire. It could have been Estinien if he had been quicker to react. Any one of them could have died for her impulsivity.

What if it had been Alphinaud? There from the first and far too young, he liked to pretend that every move he made was considered but she knew the truth. He would fling himself in front of her without a moment’s thought if given the chance. She couldn’t have lived with herself if that had been the case.

Guilt again. As though the loss of Haurchfant’s life was less tragic than anyone else’s would have been simply because he was slightly older, or because he was a knight.

In that single moment, she wished he hadn’t seen what was going to happen and that the light would have landed in her chest as it was supposed to so she wouldn’t have to live in a city that was darker the minute he left it.

Maybe if she had been to the Astrologicum as he had suggested, or studied harder as a scholar rather than funnelling all of her time into summoning she would have been able to heal him. Basic ailments she could handle but a spear of light to the chest was beyond her.

She looked over to her Grimoire sadly, considering summoning her carbuncle for company but ultimately she knew that she would feel guilty summoning him just to sit with her, miserable as she was.

Time passed, though she couldn’t be sure of how much, before there was a soft knock at the door and Alphinaud poked his head round it.

“May I come in?” He asked quietly, judging by his whisper she concluded it must still have been early.

She beckoned him in with a wave of her hand and he tiptoed through, closing the door softly and perching on the end of her bed. He was already dressed immaculately in his blue and white battle gear, soft coat around his shoulders and hair plaited neatly behind him.

“Going somewhere?” She questioned as she sat up in bed.

“Just to the crozier, I was planning on finding something for Count Edmont.” He smiled sadly. “If we see him today, that is.”

“I’m sure he’ll appreciate the gesture but I’m not sure there’s a gift for this occasion.” Her guilt flared again with her words at the reminder of _why_ Count Edmont was unlikely to speak to anyone for a few days.

“True. But I also thought to ensure that there is nothing Ser Aymeric needs for his recovery.” He mumbled. It was sweet to watch Alphinaud attempt to look after those around him, the experience of losing everything before having made him attentive to what they might need. She managed to give him a half-smile too, aware that him checking on her was more than a friendly visit though he must have been hurting too.

“I’m sure Aymeric has Lucia, Estinien and a horde of chirurgeons looking after his recovery already.” She said finally.

“I thought the visit might be help enough, especially if you were to accompany me?” He asked shyly. He was clearly not oblivious to what had been happening and perhaps he thought that a visit would do them both good but it was the last thing she wanted. She needed perspective on the situation, on if Aymeric was enough to justify the loss of Haurchefant.

He wasn’t.

“I’m afraid not. I think I need to gather my thoughts alone today.” She whispered, avoiding his eyes so he wouldn’t catch her lie.

The following sigh showed that he wasn’t fooled, but he simply gave her a sympathetic look and stood slowly, turning to her before he left.

“You know where I am should you need me.” He muttered.

“Thank you, Alphi. Really.”

He nodded his head before he gave an exaggerated wince and a small laugh.

“Don’t call me that.” He smiled, pointing a finger at her before he left, closing the door behind him. The small gesture was enough to bring a tiny smile to her own face, but only briefly before silence fell over her once more and she remembered.

The day was slow. She filled it by reading over the spells in her battered Grimoire again and again, even attempting to develop them further. She would be ready when she was next needed and when she faced the Heavens Ward again without doubt. However, eventually she had to concede that there was only so much she could do without a striking dummy to practice on and so she had moved on to reading back over her journal, finding the letters Aymeric had sent whilst she travelled and quickly shoving them to the back of it.

Daylight came and went and all she saw were Fortemps servants bringing her meals that she refused to eat, everyone else deeming it best to leave her to herself. Finally, as the sky darkened again, there was a soft knock at her door. Assuming it to be Alphinaud, she called for him to come in, however her heart stopped when she saw the stature of the man entering.

Aymeric let himself in and stopped, looking around until his eyes settled on a small armchair across the room.

“May I?” He asked. She considered telling him no but she could see how he winced with every step, clearly still injured, and so she nodded reluctantly. He pulled the chair over so that it was next to her bed and settled into it slowly, huffing with relief as he sat.

“Are you hurt?” His face was painted with worry as he looked at her. She felt the ice surrounding her melt a little as a flutter of emotion stirred within her, of something other than guilt or pain.

“You limp in here, gritting your teeth with each step, and ask if_ I _am hurt?” She replied incredulously. She considered the way that he sat and which parts of himself he cradled and protected. Looking at him for too long filled her with too much. Pure anger, mostly. It was obvious he was hurt and she could only imagine what they had done to him to cause it. The whole thing was enough for her to consider following through on the promise she’d made to him before he’d left and kill each member of the Heavens Ward for daring to touch him.

Guilt, predictably. Looking at him now was like looking at what she had sacrificed Haurchefant for and it hurt to think about.

Beneath it all, if she were truly honest with herself, was the familiar excitement and warmth his presence usually brought, but it was masked by too much else to be felt in any considerable level.

“You could have been.” He answered her simply.

“But I wasn’t.” Her response was a little too quick, too defensive. He leaned back from her and intertwined his fingers, circling his thumbs around one another as he formulated a response. Words were deserting him it seemed, his reply simple.

“For which I am most grateful.”

Her mind span as she thought about what she ought to do. She wanted to seek comfort from him, to allow him to wrap her in his arms and let her release the growing sense of hurt she felt. She wanted to be selfish one last time, and ignore her duties in favour of her grief and her want to be held through it all.

But that selfishness had cost enough, she sighed heavy heartedly as she realised that what she wanted wasn’t a priority anymore.

“Though I am glad to see you well, I think I should be alone.” She mumbled politely. She couldn’t meet anyone’s eyes it seemed as she avoided his piercing gaze, feeling he would read her too easily if she met it.

“With respect, I have to disagree.” He replied. “I worry that you are taking on entirely too much of the blame.”

As soon as he spoke she felt a spark of anger race through her, erasing any fears she had before. She made eye contact with him, looking at him darkly through tired eyes.

“I am taking on exactly as much blame as is right. It was my fault.” She said clearly, attempting to leave no room for argument, but irritatingly he managed to find some.

“The only person at fault is the knight who…” He trailed off, seeming to get his words caught in his throat but she knew the intended meaning. She swallowed and attempted to compose herself a little before she spoke again.

“He agreed to follow me no matter what I did. And what I did was reckless and impulsive and purely borne out of my anger for what had happened to you. Had I have stayed with you rather than charging forwards he might-”

“Thalia!” Aymeric interrupted. She stopped, shocked. He had never interrupted her before, his sense of manners getting in the way. For a moment she was sure the next thing out of his mouth would be an apology, but she was wrong. “You cannot genuinely believe that you are to blame for any of this.”

“I was so focused on you that I forgot about everyone else.” She blurted, feeling tears spring to her eyes. “If it hadn’t been for Lucia and Alphinaud I might have gotten us all killed.”

His expression was so soft, encouraging her tears as she took in the sight of someone that she clearly didn’t deserve. Someone still concerned for her, despite what she had done and despite what he had been through and someone that miraculously didn’t seem to blame her for any of it.

She could feel herself _ache _for him when he changed his position to sit on the edge of her bed rather than the chair and it only subsided minutely when he reached over to brush one of the errant tears off of her cheek.

“Were he here, he would not blame you. Nor did he in his final moments.” He whispered, rubbing his thumb over the top of her cheek gently. His words eased the pain slightly as she allowed herself to believe them, willing them to be true.

She allowed herself to be in the moment just for a small while. All she felt was the light pressure of his fingers across the side of her face and the ever present tingle that accompanied his touch. She let his words wash over her as his presence did, drowning her completely for a brief time so that everything that wasn’t the present dissipated, leaving comfort and warmth behind.

“Whatever happened, it cannot be allowed to happen again.” She spoke softly, breaking the moment as gently as she could.

He simply tilted his head slightly in question, hair falling out of place as his eyes filled with intrigue.

“What we have I-…” A deep breath. “I don’t fully understand. But it caused me to lose my focus and Haurchefant died for it. I can’t think properly with you near me, I don’t feel like I’m in control.”

His eyebrows furrowed and he looked as if he was about to object so she continued to talk before he had the chance.

“We both know that the fight is far from over, and I need to be objective, clear, _smart_ if we are to even stand a chance. And with you, I am none of those things.”

It was obvious that he tried to hide his sadness but he was wholly unsuccessful. Her stomach sank and her guilt for Haurchefant was replaced by an entirely new form of guilt- it sat heavy within her and she looked at his downcast eyes, the way he withdrew from her slowly and leaned away as though to touch her any longer would burn.

“Ah.” He mumbled. “As ever, duty is the death of love.”

“My feelings, whatever they are, have certainly not died.”

“But you feel this is best?”

“This is best.” She nodded. Half of her consciousness screamed at her to stop what she was doing, to apologise and take it back but she knew she never could and that she would never forgive herself if she did.

Her chest tightened painfully. God, she wanted him so badly.

She felt the same as she did just before he had gone to the Vault, it hadn’t suddenly stopped, and it was so much worse. She wished that she hated him or that she was angry for what he had caused her to do. At least then she could shout at him and they could argue and she could feel like she was doing the right thing.

Everything about what she was doing just felt wrong. Hurting Aymeric, hurting herself, denying them both of something that she was sure they both knew was special.

Before her, she had heard no rumours of the Lord Commander courting anyone else, and she had certainly never even entertained the idea of someone to feel for so dearly.

The very idea of love had been taken from her the moment she arrived in Ul’dah and someone called her the Warrior of Light, and he had given it back.

Now, she was throwing it at his feet.

“I will not attempt to dissuade you, though I wish I could.” He said. She knew he wouldn’t argue with her, he was far too polite to attempt to talk or force her into something she was clearly backing out of.

He stood quickly, wincing once again, and looked as though he might leave it at that but he stopped briefly. Leaning over her, he placed a feather light kiss to the top of her head before hooking a finger under her chin and bringing her head up to face him.

“I believe any time for subtlety is over.” He muttered. “Your decision does not change my emotion. You have my heart.”

With that, he pulled away and left her.

No matter what had happened or how much of the blame she took because of her feelings for Aymeric, her numbness left with him, and for that she was grateful.


End file.
